My two thoughts..

Well...
Today could have been described as the start of Dante's Inferno.
For today I seemed to drift through hell to the point of acceptance.



Limbo seems to be the place where you float about lost and without just cause.

No matter how hard I try to think things through.. nothing gets resolved. All I can seem to muster in my mind is "What should I do?" or "But how?"

No matter how hard I try and look forward I seem to be stuck in a loop where I can't venture forward.



I need to get out of my job and into "something" that I enjoy or something that I am at least respected for and mot just thrown about like some dogs play toy with no pat on the back or thanks..

The most uplifted I felt today was when a customer actually did pat me on my arm and said sorry for making me walk from one side of the store and then back again in a misunderstanding on my part. Other than that I have been used as some invisible ghost that should just do things without any recognition. Why the change all of a sudden?



I also need to get out of this flat!

I cant stress how much this needs to happen.. I honestly cant stand it any more. The complaints from people, the small space, the limitations to having it how i want it, the fact that any changes i do make I wont keep as I don't own it, the fact I cant progress with a family or anything in here.

It drives me mad.
Any money I do earn vanishes instantly on the flat and I cant progress forward.



And then comes my love life.. currently it seems to be in bits... so many conditions and things asked of me just to prove my feelings or whether its worth fighting for.

It seems that the only way I can prove I love someone is to put a ring on their finger... but you shouldn't have to do that to make them believe you love them..

Surely the ring could mean that I love her or that I'm just trying to stop her worrying.. why should I be forced to prove myself, am I truly not good enough as I am? Do I need to prove it with "things"?



Maybe I'm wrong.. maybe the only thing that actually exists is Lust and not love.. maybe love is just a sick idea made up to make people feel like they have to do extreme things for someone they lust for.. who knows ¬_¬



So yes I feel lost in limbo right now..



Next level is Lust is it not.. The one thing that causes me all these issues in the first place..

There is supposed to be a difference between love and lust..

If I see a beautiful woman in the street or on TV it does not mean I love them, I just think they look good..
Am I seriously not aloud to find other things attractive?
You don't get a pet and then state that you cant have another because you don't like any other pet.. but you can say that you like other pets but you love the one you have and don't want another right?
Lust is a sin... sadly a sin I have no control over as its a mental thing that kicks without me asking it to do so.



...



There have been so many things bring me down to the point that I question why we live... Is it even worth anything.. I mean who remembers me after I die? My gran kids.. maybe their kids.. but then I am forever forgotten. So what does my life mean, why should I stay here? To make people laugh? To watch them cry? Or maybe there is no need for me to truly be here...



I was brought a yoyo thing for my cutter and locker key by chloe.. cost her a bit but was worth it.

She knew i would use it and needed a new one.. Had it less than a week and it broke.. Caught on a door and pulled its self apart.. now im left with guilt and a broken gift.. a gift that looks just like cheese wire....


I see so many ways of just escaping this torcher... and you never know it might lead to the answers I'm looking for.. but the one thing that stops me is "Better"....

I'm always looking for better and in my mind I am screaming at myself that things "must" get better they just have to.. and its the only thing keeping me from smacking someone.. trashing things.. or worse.


I was hoping for a change today but my mind set wouldn't play ball..

Again I'm left with 2 thoughts... "What should I do?" and "But how?"

Butterfly... Changing

Today marks the day I yet again allow one of the others to take control for a while.
For those of you who have no idea as to what I mean.. this could sound crazy or it could sound normal.. depends on how you see split personality's.

For too long Jay has been screaming at James asking to be set free and tonight he almost broke free..
With thoughts of smashing up my flat and breaking my fists upon a wall to such things of just jumping from a window to seek a perfect calm...
He needs to go..

...

Its got to that point where I'm now scared to be around people when I hear his voice. I'm never sure what words he will whisper into my thoughts making me contemplate drastic changes to make in my life. All I know is they are far from good.

I'm glad that Besty was here today to back up James.. I don't think I could have coped without him keeping my calm.
"Just take a breath... count to 5 if you have to and think of something calming.. maybe a waterfall of some sorts"
All the others just seemed to step back with no clue as to what to do. =[ not very useful.

I think I may have to let Besty take control for a while so that the others can lock up all the thoughts...

Not too sure how this will effect me as I haven't let Besty take control for 5-6 years or so.
Lets just hope he knows whats good for me :P

On the plus side seeing as work is fine now it should allow me to make a few minor needed changes with friendships ^_^

Again for those of you not quite up to speed with my mind here is a quick informative update..

• Musical Phoenix or Phe/Phe-o/Phoenix = Complete gamer, geek, nerd.. Loves playing games and doesn't really have much time for other stuff. Usually cant deal with problems unless its game based. Poor at social skills and doesn't respond much to peoples input. Tends to stay indoors and away from people where he can feel safe and calm playing games of all kinds nearly 24/7

• Covert Hoax or Covert = The hacker... when hes about you tend to know.. hes coding/hacking or talking about conspiracies and hoax's, tends to follow ideas of Anonymous with freedom of speech and data. Will usually solve problems about anything but not always in a good way.. tends to be sneaky and cunning with long term plans where he manipulates things into working when they shouldn't.

• Besty = The Friend.. Tends to put everything to one side for his friends.. supports anyone when needed without question. Usually there to support people and doesn't think about himself, can cause him to get in some sticky money issues due to helping others but he gets by some how..

• Jay = The Rebel... Known only too well for his disobedience, you say don't do it and he does it and some just to prove he can. Does stuff on impulse and doesn't think about the after effects, just wants to enjoy life as much as he can without thought of who it effects. Usually locked away in my mind so that not too much damage gets done as he tends to destroy everything I build for myself.

• James = The thinker.. Take jay and flip it on his head.. James tends to think things through and tries to understand as much as possible and then work with what hes given. All round his kind of balanced in most ways, but can be very life orientated, wanting the perfect job the perfect house and everything to be planned and working towards things.

Well thats me, me, me, me and me :P
Hopefully that helps you all understand how I work better and you should even see what I mean better when my personality changes randomly.

Well thought I'd give you all a heads up as to whos on their way... enjoy ;)

Not another complex post

They say that time repeats itself and that if something has happened once its most likely going to happen again...

This post isn't a science or clever post, if anything its a "current feelings" post.

You see last night the person mentioned in this post HERE had decided that things just didn't seem right and went back home.

This leaves me on my own once again with a gut wrenching feeling that time is repeating its self...

I know full well over the next few days I shall seem fine and as though nothing is bothering me but for those of you who actually read this you shall have a better understanding of how I'm truly feeling...

Current feelings:
You know that feeling where you work really hard applying for a job, you get a interview and then they still don't employ you.. that feeling of working so damn hard for something and it all seems to be working out fine but then all that happy success feeling gets snatched from you and you feel worthless because you weren't wanted or just didn't fit the profile they wanted..
Well thats how I currently feel right now.

I'm unsure how things will turn out..
I mean, I have been told its still gonna be fine.. but that's not what I'm feeling right now..

I feel lost....

Is time really going round on its self and things will just repeat or will things be fine?
I feel that I have lost already before I have even had a chance to start fighting for it... So fighting for it would be pointless.. but I'll still try.

Things in my eyes were going well.. Work had been very rocky I admit but that got sorted and even worked out better for the both of us. We could finally see each other more often. Sure I earn less and now money is tight, but I can get through it I always do.. I wont ever just fall and never try to keep crawling.. I'll keep moving forward no matter what life throws in my way..

*sigh*
but where do I stand with all of this?

Should I just accept the fact this is how my life will repeat?
So much screaming is going on inside my mind today, the violent anger of confusion is clawing away my mind, distracting me from everything I should be thinking instead....

I suppose I will just have to accept that "Only Time Will Tell" but the problem there is we have a limited amount of time and I'd rather not waste it n confusion and depression any more.

Which is the reason I shall seem fine... why let it control you why let it over power you.. maybe just accept the fact that I cant do anything by being down and depressed and so continue being me while the thoughts that would normally destroy me stay in my mind and allow me to continue with life.

Anyway.. this was more of a mumbling ramble than an blog post.. but I told myself that when ever something is making my mind buzz with thoughts I would blog it.. so here it is..

The answer to my life the universe and my everything...

I was having sex today when it hit me...
I know the one main thing that makes me me...

A lot of my posts have been about how I think and hopefully it has let you gain a better understanding of me. However it has also helped me better understand myself.

I have one word that describes my life, and as big headed as it sounds the word is "Better"

Let me explain...

Think of your life, how you live it and where you are in your mind. Now tell me you wouldn't like it if things were better in some way..
Maybe you wish you did better at school? Maybe you think you could be in a better position now than you actually are? I have no idea what you would like to have better.. but I'll tell you one thing. I bet there is something you want better..

The thing is it rings true for me on sooo many levels that it kind of is who I am.

Here's a few examples.
I know I could be in a better position than I am now, and no matter how much I do better myself its never enough.
I want to learn more about EVERYTHING.
Even if I had the real answer to life the universe and everything I would still want a better one.
I want a better job/flat/state of mind/understanding of people/education/physical appearance... the list goes on..

If its possible to be better then I want it.. and if you can't be better than that then why the hell not?

You see I am more than happy to be told that I am wrong, and I am more than happy to have people explain things to me. The reason for this is because I feel like i'm learning and thus getting a better understanding of something.

Yeah I make mistakes but I can assure you that unless I intend to make them again I tend to avoid it and learn from it.

So my answer to life the universe and everything is to be better.
Everywhere I go and everyone I see all want to better themselves too. So maybe that truly is the answer but we just want something that sounds better? :P

The funny thing is that I tend to have this feeling towards everything.. so for example if I see your upset I'll try to make things better any way I can.

Its a nice way to live always wanting to be better, it causes me to always push to succeed.. however when you fail at something it does show that it affected me bad.

Time Travel Memory...

Well now a previous post has distracted me slightly I'm not too sure this will have all the info that I previously wanted to post, so I may take a while to get back in the mind set and explain things clearly...

Right...

So as some of you may know Stephen Hawking spoke about Tiny Worm holes.
I would like it if at all possible for you to watch this video up to 2:28 to help you understand where my thoughts lead me.


Now.. if you have watched that video please continue to read, if not then try to hang in with me and if you get lost, try watching the video.

So as you know there are so many worm holes everywhere and so small that we cant do anything with them.
That's fine by me but it got me thinking.

If these wormholes are EVERYWHERE.. which I believe to be true then they are also inside of us.
Inside our hands, feet, mouth and even brain.

Now with that being said.. you also can't pass things through them as they are reallllly small. So you wont have new atoms passing in and out of your brain, and you wont have new protons, neutrons or electrons passing in and out of these wormholes.

But something could be passing through them?

Now here's a thought.
What if the thing that makes us us and able to think move talk, and believe we live.. well what if it was actually that small? What if it was the smallest thing to exist ever.
In this case it could pass between them, and it could always alter things when it does pass through.

I'll back up for a second and let you catch up with my thoughts..

A wormhole opens up inside out brain... (I'm just using one for now as an example..
Now something small enough passes from where ever it was through that hole and into our brain. Now the fact that it exists there and wasn't a few x's ago (seconds minutes etc) means that its going to affect the stuff around it..

For example.. lets follow the laws of science and make things bigger. (Theory of Relativity)

If a wormhole opened up in our solar system and a planet popped out of it then it would cause a change...
Other planets may start to move out of orbit to collide with this new planet, it might get pulled into the sun causing an explosion.... Either way no matter what happens, we can safely say things change.

Now if we make it smaller.. and say we have a atom, and a wormhole opened up and spat out a electron. That electron would also change the Atom and how it would normally act.

So whats to say that even on the small scale of the real worm holes in the video shown above that they wouldn't change things.
Personally I think they would.

Now that made my mind wander on many other ideas but here are a few I would like to share with you...


These ideas work on memories.

Idea 1

We can safely say that a part of our brain deals with memories, and we seem to remember some things but forget others.

Now what if memories were stored like AVI files. (Stay with me here)
Each memory cell is like a file.
It holds information on many things all at once. (quantum computer idea forming... but I'll possibly write and idea for that at a later date :D)

Basically your memory cell could hold the information of an emotion, a sound, a time/date, a x,y,z, an a,b,c and many other things.. a bit like a struct of data (bit of code talk there sorry)

Now this cell has many parts of information all held in this one cell and when you link it with another cell it adds to the memory a new piece of emotion, a sound, a time/date, a x,y,z, an a,b,c.... this causes a movie like thing to be created..

for example Scene 1 and scene 2,3,4,5,6 etc.. link them ALL together and you get a memory of your entire life..

Now say one of these cells is damaged.. you would forget that scene/memory/part... or say it was modified.. you may have a new scene/memory/part...

Now using the idea that these wormholes no matter how small they are they change things.. what if they are what causes you to forget bits of information...
OR remember.

By remember I mean DeJa view..
What if, a wormhole opened up and sent something from the future back into your mind and it was a memory link (something that when it links with a memory cell it causes you to have a memory.)

(Computer talk for a sec)
You have memory and if its empty you can use it.. but when you add something to it you can access it using a function.. now what if some how the function was used to access a memory location that was empty but in the future will be filled with information..
Of cause you would see nothing... but if a wormhole was present it might fill that memory with future memory data.
(Computer ish talk over)

So maybe these wormholes can cause deja view...



ALSO idea 2..

Dreams...
What if the worm holes open when you have a mass of energy... and they link to many other times and dimensions.
While you're sleeping the energy could be stored in your mind seeing as your not using it for motion and that could cause you to access stuff subconsciously causing you to have dreams.. or memories of things that happen in another dimension or time... or its a idea memory that then gains a visual, emotional, and sound link rather than just a thought on its own...??? so many things could be possible.



There are just too many things to type about and my brain has thought of thousands of other ideas.. and while typing I can't think quick enough... well that or I can't type as fast as I think :P

Ether way I shall end this post here and maybe add a few new ideas when I have time..

A new way of thinking of god

I started a post a long while ago and never actually got round to finishing it... So while sitting with 3 hours to kill before work I decided to re-read it and try and add some more to it.

I have been dissing the topic of god a lot lately with a few believers and a few non-believers.

No matter how I look at the theory of god, I always see a flaw.

If you want to see why I think this then feel free to read this post…

BLOG POST ABOUT GOD

Now seeing as it’s me, I couldn't just sit there and listen to how god is the perfect answer when I see so many flaws. So my brain started working overtime again.

After much thought, I have come up with a new belief system that actually makes sense.

Now seeing as my mind worked over time to come up with the solution, it hasn't been put into words that can explain it fully yet but this is where I will try to explain what went through my head and how I see the answer.

I haven't perfected the explanation of it verbally or with notes. However I have made a start on trying to explain it and I will allow you all to read it. The more I update the easier it should be to understand.

By all means you do not have to believe I am right and you don't have to start believing what I say.

The reason for this post is as always, just to try and explain how my mind works.

This belief system was thought up because so many people follow science and so many others follow religion but for some reason you can’t combine the two.

If you follow religion then science finds too many paradoxes’ in it and makes it unbelievable (in my opinion).
If you follow science then you still don't get all the answers you are looking for but a lot more is explained.

I thought about the both of them and came up with this...

STILL IN PROGRESS OF EXPLAINING SIMPLY

UPDATED 24/4/2012 12:16PM

Eternal Phoenix

What is the Eternal Phoenix?

The Eternal Phoenix is the name given to my new kind of belief. This belief both works on the basis of science and god like belief. The two are combined together to make a logical belief system where the arguments from both sides are supported and a balance is made.

Things needed from the God point of view:

Attributes to a God:
1.     Omniscience (Infinite knowledge),
2.   Omnipotence (Unlimited power),
3.   Omnipresence (Present everywhere),
4.   Omni benevolence (Perfect goodness)
5.   Divine simplicity (Without parts)
6.   Eternal and Necessary Existence. (Will and has always been there, and is needed to exist)
7.   Incorporeal (Without a body)
8.   Personal Being (Relates to the person)
9.   The Source of all Moral Obligation (Defines right and wrong)
10.The Greatest Conceivable Existent (The most powerful and important thing to ever exist)

These attributes are found in nearly every god, and it is these things that define such thing as a god like figure. For example, if I had all those attributes then I would technically be classed as a god

Things about existence with a god:
God created everything.
There is a heaven and a hell.
We all have a spirit/Life source.

Things needed from the science point of view:

A few science facts:

1.   Absolute Truth (True for all people at all times, universally true)
2.   Law of Logic (Ref A)
3.   Law of Mathematics (Ref B)
4.   Laws of Science (Ref C)
5.   The Nature of Laws (Ref D)
6.   Conservation of Energy Law (Ref E)
7.   Annihilation (Ref F)
8.   Energy exists
9.   We evolve
10.Time exists
11.Our mind holds our memories and our memories define us and our actions

• (Ref A)An example of a law of logic is the law of non-contradiction. This law states, for instance, that it cannot both be true and false. I am standing up but sitting down also. I like to eat tuna but I hate eating fish.
• (Ref B)No matter what you do, or how you say it, if you have 2 of something and add 2 more of the same thing you will always end up with 4 of that thing. No matter what you do or say this will always be true, even if you called 2 X and the other 2 Y you will still end up with X+Y.
• (Ref C)Laws of science are basically descriptions of what matter does based on repeated observations, and are usually expressed in mathematical equations. An example of a law of science is the law of gravity. Using the law of gravity, we can predict how fast a heavier than air object will fall to the ground given all the factors for the equation.
• (Ref D)Laws are not made of matter but are rather a non-physical thing. They are things that exist but that can’t be touched, seen or created. They are there to help us understand things and are the same throughout everything. For example 2+2 =4 not because that’s how we humans see it but because that’s how it just is. Even on a planet far away where different life forms may exist they will still say x+x=2x. It is a universal thing, and they will never change. The only thing that will change is how we perceive them.
• (Ref E) One thing that scientists have proved is the law of “Conservation of Energy”. What this means is that the total amount of energy to exist in a closed off existence is a constant. A consequence of this law is that energy can neither be created nor destroyed: it can only be transformed from one state to another. Albert Einstein proved that mass is a form of energy and that it can change from mass to another energy using the theory of relativity. Matter particles (Atoms), and energy particles (Light) can change from one to another. However, this conversion does not affect the total energy in a closed off existence.
• (Ref F) When a subatomic particle collides with its antiparticle it creates nothing. Since energy must be a constant the two particles are not actually made into nothing but rather into a new particle where when you add the quantum numbers from both particles the outcome is zero. This is known as “Annihilation”.

If you don’t understand any of the above things from the god or science point of view please feel free to do some research on them to understand this belief system fully.

How this belief works:

At the very beginning.

They say that in the beginning there was nothing.
Well firstly to say in the beginning there was nothing you are assuming that there is a beginning.

I personally can’t wrap my head around the science idea that there was never a beginning and will never be an end because time is a constant that never started and will never end.

A Christian point to view I found interesting was this:

“Time exists when matter exists. Time has even been called the fourth dimension.
But God is not matter. In fact, God created matter. He created the universe.
So, time began when God created the universe. Before that, God simply existed and time had no meaning”

With this in mind they state that time was created when god created matter. This would mean that there was a beginning. The beginning would have been when the first piece of matter was created.

Now I then looked at it from a science point of view.

Time = What we perceive based on changes from one thing to another. 

EXAMPLE: 

X changes into Y

Because X changes to Y it must have some form of movement.
If there was no movement at all, it would not be able to change from X to Y. (Movement is a form of energy)
So based on this, Time exists because of movement... 

If everything froze, and by everything I mean every Particle, Atom, Quark etc, and nothing was able to move at all, but somehow our consciousness continued to work. We would record the time that passed, because our conscious thoughts could keep a record by doing something like counting in seconds. 

HOWEVER 

If everything froze (every particle, atom, quark etc) we would have no conscious thought, and so because of this, what we perceive to be time would no longer exist.

So no matter what point of view you look at it from time must have started somewhere.


The way we can explain this would be like so.

Time has always and will always exist, however it has not always been in motion.
Energy has and will always exist. (Movement is caused by energy)

So time exists as long as at least some of the energy that exists is movement energy.

With this being the case I can now say...



When all the energy in existence is anything but movement energy then time = 0 (It’s at a standstill)

As soon as one single part of that energy changes into movement energy time then starts.

If all the energy stopped moving and became some other form of energy other than movement energy, then there would be no movement and so time would stop.


So when they say that in the beginning there was nothing. In some way they were right, but in another way they were wrong. As we have proved with “Conservation of Energy Law” (Ref E) even at the start of time its self (If there ever was a start), energy existed.

So at the beginning of creation/existence the only thing to exist would be one huge source of energy. All the energy that we have in our existence, including all the energy across the universe and beyond (if there is a beyond), and it has and always will exist. It had no form and may not have done anything but none the less it existed.

The thing is that although this huge amount of energy existed it was also nothingness.

With the “Annihilation” (Ref F) concept we can say that this huge source of energy had a value of 0 becoming nothing.

So in the beginning there was actually nothing, but this nothing was just all of the energy in existence all paired together to create nothing rather than actually being nothing. It is also possible for this nothing particle to have a “Center of momentum frame”. This means that it has zero velocity. (No movement).

So, if all of this energy had a movement of zero then time had yet to start.





So before the beginning of time…

This energy was everywhere (Omnipresence), because it was everywhere and it was energy it was unlimited power (Omnipotence).
This energy didn’t have a mass or parts to it (Incorporeal and Divine simplicity).
Being energy we also prove that it will and has always been there, and is needed to exist (Eternal and Necessary Existence) and with it being the one thing that makes existence possible it’s the most powerful and important thing to ever exist (The Greatest Conceivable Existent).

This energy source has now already taken on a lot of the attributes required to be god. To keep things simple we will give this energy source a reference name. We shall call it the “Entity”.

Now the Entity is everything in existence but also nothing. So how does it create everything that we see before us now? Just as god was said to have created the world, this proves how the world was created by the Entity.

The “Conservation of Energy Law” (Ref E) states that one energy, be it Light, Sound, Heat, Kinetic, Electrical or any of the many other energies can change into any of the other energies, including particles that make up atoms.

By splitting just one of the nothing particles it would cause a chain reaction causing others around it to also split up and change from the nothing particle into a new form of energy or mass.
This new form of energy or mass could be anything from a new atom that could be used to create an element or it could change into a form of heat energy that also affects the others around it. Either way a new thing had been created.


Think of the splitting process like this.. you have nothing.. a zero... emptiness.

Now if we look at this on a number line you will see what I mean.

-10,-9,-8,-7,-6,-5,-4,-3,-2,-1, 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10

Our nothing energy particle is sat here at 0.
Now if we take 1 from nothing you would assume that’s not possible, but this is where it gets explained. 

On the number line if you take one from it you have 1 and it is left with -1
This states how the nothing energy can become something else. 

We now have a +1 particle and a -1 particle from something that was 0. All one of these new particles needs is to have movement and it has started off time, not only this but it will also bump into other nothing particles and make them change.

Now this conforms to the idea of the big bang. When the first nothing from the Entity splits it would cause a chain reaction around it where loads of energy is released. This would also be where scientist believe the centre of the universe is.

As you may know when you have a chain reaction that spreads outwards what happens is at first it spreads fast covering a small area around it. Following this it then continues to spread further and further out but with less and less of an effect. With this however the effect would be the same.

Say in one second it had converted a meter of nothingness around it to a new form of energy, then in the next second it would still cover another meter of nothingness but because it would be spreading out in a 360° radius it would convert even more and more as it goes.  

This also explains why the universe is constantly expanding….

So... We have now explained how time started, why there would be a center point of the universe, how other partials, atoms and such would be made.

If we follow the same principals of the big bang we then end up with planets, suns, star dust etc eventually leading to the creation of DNA and then to us..

A lot of people ho believe in a religion seem to believe that for some reason (although we have a lot of proof that it has and will happen) that evolution never happened. Apparently we were created in Gods image... Well.... If we take the Entity (this mass of energy) as what you would perceive as God, then in fact all those people would be right as well as wrong..

For you see, we are made up of many bits of mass and energy all wound tightly together to create us. With that being said we are made up of the exact same things that this Entity was made of. So we are in fact just like the Entity (God).. I would rather not call It god. Due to the fact that a lot of people would be sitting there going "But god created everything, so he/she/other must have had a consciousness in order to do that".. My response would simply be. "Really?"

But anyway..

So as I was saying we are made up of the same stuff as the Entity and there for we are in some way MADE in its image, however due to us being a mixture of mass and energy we have taken on a new form where we view ourselves as "Human".

Now I'm going to side track slightly to go and cover a few other things that belief systems usually pass across...


TO BE UPDATED FROM HERE
Explain here about how the Entity links in with:
Praying to god - subconsciousness
A bit of god in all of us - Entity
Death/rebirth - Movement of energy from one to another

(To be expanded on)

TO BE CONTINUED...

Possessions...

Hmmmm.. Thoughts yet again.

It is possible to do this.. but how many people in the whole world actually would..

I have grown up and throughout my entire life time I have gained lots of possessions, and these possessions are now stored in my own flat.
I have a lot of memory's linked to these things.. so parting with them is very hard. It gets even harder to part with them all when you know how hard you worked to get everything you currently have.

You spent many years perfecting everything that you have into being what you wanted to have, weather these be memories that spark emotions or if they are just simply things you always wanted/needed.

But if you were told that you could start a fresh new life, and take the path you want in life, all you had to do was abandon all your possessions... could you?

When thinking about it I sit there and think.. They are only things.. I can get them again..
But then you take a hard look at what you actually have and it becomes a completely different matter..

Now this shocks me. I'm usually a logical person yet the emotion of possessions still seems to overrule my thinking.

Why is this?

They are only things right? I could get them back if I tried.... Its not like I actually NEED them to live... but yet I still don't want to part with everything I have.

Does this make me mentally weak?

Or maybe the thing given in return isn't worth as much as the memories and possessions?

I would be extremely curious as to what others would do given the same choice...

Lately I ......

I was thinking..
Already I know this can't be a good thing heh
But I really can't believe how we are so controlled these days.

There are so many things we would all love to say or do, but we never do these things because of the consequences.. now not all these consequences should be bad.. but they can end up being bad consequences due to things placed in our way..

For example:
I live in a house..
I have to pay to live here..
I want to see my friends and party.. but in doing so it costs money and then I can't afford to pay to live where I am..
So I don't party to keep my house..

Now that's a bit of an extreme example.. but think of it this way..
If we didn't have to pay to live in that house and you only had to pay for the things you want like food, gas, lecky etc then you would be able to do more things..

This isn't just linked to houses..
Take a friendship for example.
If you want to say something but you know the consequences of saying that thing will be bad you generally don't say it..
Now this is usually because you don't want to upset people.. but most of the time they only get upset because their not wanting to accept the fact that what they do, say, look like or how they act has such an effect that caused you to think like that in the first place.

Its quite sad really that we are so constricted by everything around us.. physically and emotionally.

There have been many things I have wanted to say or do.. but yet I know that I can't..
FUCK IT SUCKS!

Currently I have been going through a real rough patch with my personality's.
Chloe will hate to read this but I have had Jay under control for the past year and a half.. and its been amazing..
Nothing has really gone wrong because I have said or done something I hated doing or saying..
The only things that have gone wrong worked out fine in the long run.

But lately Jay has been one persistent bastard!
I have felt myself slipping into his consciousness and thinking in such a positive way about so many things I know will end up bad..
And I'm failing..

I think its mainly due to the stress I have been under lately and the fact that it has taken such a toll on my mind lately with not being to solve the situations that Jay has been trying to tell me that you don't always have to solve them.. sometimes its better to just forget about it and do something so risky that it might work.

Thing is.. I know I can't trust him.. but he is so damn convincing..
For example.. I want to join the RAF for many reasons.. but I can't just quit my job.. join the RAF and things work out fine..
I need to be able to keep my stuff, flat, TV, PC, Sofas, bed.. where and how can I keep it if I have no income.. Yes the RAF will pay but not for a few months... =/

Jay seems to think we should just do it... Sign up right now.. go for the interview thing... quit work and start RAF life..
but what about the flat/money/chloe :S

That's one of the things he seems so adamant on doing so spontaneously and I'm starting to believe him..
And for James to listen to Jay after locking him away for such a long time is just wrong. =/

I think I'm worrying he'll take over again and I'll lose everything I have built for my self.. As I know he sees me doing other things.... traveling around the world living in random locations, being free spirited, parties.. just living life to the most I could..

....
..
*sigh*
I suppose in some way I'm looking for a valve I can open and allow Jay to leak through rather than build up.. but while he leaks through... also not upset people...

Possible? not sure.. but my mind can't rest and I get angry at myself for even listening, let alone then not doing... =[

I suppose this blog post has no actual resolution endpoint or structure for that matter so I'll wrap it up here and allow you all to take this information and use it how ever you wish.. =/

Current song that I relate to right now.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_qdY3617wo

Some People ¬_¬

Some people just don't seem to think about their actions.

That or they do but they don't seem to understand that it has an impact on other people as well as them self.

I know that a few of you that read this will see this as a dig at you, but the only reason you would see this as a dig would be if you think that something you did or do causes me to get to a stage where I have to vent about people like you causing my mind to want to explode.

I won't go into too much detail as its not really needed, all you need to know is that this blog was designed for me to express the ways in which my brain works.
It is not here to be a 100% perfect answer to problems, and its not going to have things that are 100% true and possible..


For example I could say "Wouldn't it be awesome if we could get the DNA from the largest bird in the world and mutate that DNA so that we could link it with ours thus allowing a human to have wings."

The above sentence could be possible or not.
Whether it is or not is irrelevant, the whole point it was typed up onto this page for you to read is because its something that went through my mind, and so I blogged about it so that you can understand how my mind thinks and works..

The sentence is not there for people to troll and state facts as to why it wont ever happen..

If this blog was for that then I would have looked into all the facts first before posting, and stated that it is or is not possible due to X, Y and Z.
(If I wanted to post something and have it shat all over and be called stupid, I would have posted on 4Chan and been called a "candy-ass newfag" for not posting something that has 100% facts to back it up ¬_¬)

This takes me to my point..

Its not just people who post on blogs in a trollish manor to try and make the other people around them seem stupid..This ramble...or should I say dig... is aimed at all those people that just have to be better at everything than everyone else even if their not.

You people make me sick!!

I may sound like I'm trying to make myself sound better than all of you however I have flaws..
This I accept.

My spelling sucks ass, my vocabulary is limited due to this (bad spelling caused me to type shorter and easier words)
Yes I could use a dictionary/spell check or a thesaurus but what good is that to me when my mind just doesn't learn the spelling of the word I need.
I see it there, I know what it is and what it looks like, but remove the word and I'm screwed at trying to re spell it.

So yeah my spelling is shit, I need glasses, I can't seem to understand peoples emotions through empathy as well as others can due to thinking logically, I have issues when it comes to doing things that are hard to understand, I think too much about everything, I don't fit in with "the norm"
These are some of the "minor" flaws I have but they are flaws nonetheless..

But you people that have to try and be better than us all are fucking stupid.
Can't you see that by having to point out the flaws in everyones work and thoughts is just one of your many flaws?
Maybe for once rather than pointing out why people are stupid and always wrong you should just say something like
"I don't agree but I like your thoughts"?

I mean how would you like if if everything you said no matter how stupid or smart you thought it was, what if it was torn up in your face spat on and someone said thats a fucking stupid thought for all these reasons....

It would anger you would it not?

Im all for people trying to help others out and expand their knowledge but come on.. shitting on EVERYTHING they say or think?
Why?

I make this mistake on odd occasions I admit.. Not too long ago I pissed off a friend by modding their minecraft work when I thought I was helping. Turns out I wasn't and they thought I was shitting all over their work.
A simple misunderstanding but something that frustrated us both.


To have that issue with every comment you make is beyond frustrating... its almost worthy of a lash out.

So to all of you that just have to have the last (correct) word, and for all those that "are never wrong"..
Please for the love of god think before you shit on people's comments...


I expect the haters to hate in time.. but remember "This entry contains my thoughts, if you honestly dare to read it and manage to understand all that I have explained in this post, try to remember that we all have random and crazy thoughts in our head and that we should not be judged by them but rather the actions we make because of them."

Evolution Of Ideas

I was thinking today that its quite amusing that you can never have a idea that stays set.

You see an idea is one of those things that just like life it seems to evolve over time.
Sometimes it changes for the better other times for the worse, but its a always changing thing.

For example:
If you ever had a idea for a game or a book, it would have taken you minutes to have come up with the idea, however as you think about the game/book the story that you had for it will grow/change/evolve into something either better or worse.

Now this got me thinking..

Im all in support of Anonymous and their idea of "Freedom Of Speech" but seeing as this is an Idea we come to that fork in the road where it will want to evolve.
You see many people hear the idea and have their own ideas that they want to add to it. The popular one being listened to and many agreeing on and the not so popular ones being frowned upon.
Either way the starting point of the idea has changed some what.

So where does the change end?

When I have an idea I usually spend some time mastering it or letting it grow naturally. This happens for some time and then I ether finish doing most of what I had planned thus saying that I have completed my idea, OR I end up getting a little way through it and abandoning it all together.

But with a Idea wits as many people as there are behind Anonymous, where will it end and stop changing?

As it is we (sorry Anon) have loads of sub Operations, and these are just new ideas thrown into the original plan to apparently help with the main idea of freedom of speech. Now this is all well and good, but how long until a new idea gets thrown in that people agree with that's no longer following the same main idea of freedom of speech.. EG. Make drugs legal ¬_¬

So Ideas although a great thing, they would be better if you could actually put a boundary on them so they can not expand any more than needed. Thus allowing you to finish off an idea and complete it without it expanding into something completely different.

So its been awhile...

Ok so other than the post a few days ago that was actually a convo I had had with some friends back in October (I think), I haven't really posted anything new.

Bit of a shame really seeing as I have had so many things go through my head over the past few months that I really should have blogged about them.

One of the major topics that people have been talking about is the world ending in 2012. Now although I do find it slightly interesting, I also find peoples views on it extremely stupid or annoying.
Here's a few things that grab my attention about the 2012 world ending topic and my views on it.

1. OK first thing first. Say the world is going to end on the date they stated and everything is true...
Well that leads me to one thing. IF it is all true, we don't actually know until it happens, or starts showing some serious effects like a commit or a shite load of floods. So by that time it would most likely be too late to do whatever you wanted to do with you life. (Awww what a shame) however if we are all going to die then why panic?

That's the main thing that confuses me.  O_o

I mean you know you're going to die, its not like anything you can do will change it so why start panicking about the fact that you are going to die? Sure you could have had a longer life and done more with it and its a bit shitty that now you can't but why when its inevitable start worrying and panicking about it..? You cant change it?

This leads me into my second point...

2. My second point is this.. If I say to you I bet you £1,000,000 that we will live through it then I win.

Fact is you only have to pay me if I win and we all live, however if we all die then you in and I owe you £1,000,000.. but wait a second we're all dead.. so I can't pay you and you don't need it.
To if you want something to happen then say to someone "If we all are still alive after 2012 then X all the Y" This means that you could say anything and you get it ;)

3. Like hell are we going to die in 2012. Ok I have to admit that there have been a load of bad things happening to the planet over the past few years however that doesn't mean that the world is ending. It just means that shits going down. In all honesty anything could happen.. the ice caps could melt, the world could become too warm and loads of changes to the planet could happen... but this doesn't mean the end of the world ¬_¬

4. The most obvious point of it all... We will die on day X of month X of year Y.
This has to be the biggest load of crap ever in existence.. (wait I correct myself there.. some people believe in god). Sure the mayans had a calendar that ended on the day they state the world will end. but their callender couldn't go on for infinity, so it was bound to end at some point.. even if it was in another 100 years it would HAVE to end some day.. That doesn't mean that on that day we will die.

I heard about this Neberu planet (or something like that) and how its heading towards earth and we will have 3 days of night.. I have to admit after watching plenty of videos my interest peaked.. I thought it was a awesome idea, very well thought out and would be awesome to see.. but the  major flaw is when they link it to the world ending... IF it exists then sure it could give us 3 days of nights if it passes between us and the sun.. sure it could tilt our axis, but to end the world on the same day as predicted.. I think not.

My final point (although I have many more) to stop my rambling... is this.

5. ¬_¬ if the world is going to end on x,x,2012 and the mayans predicted this then we must be off by a long shot.. seeing as back in the day ( :P ) the mayans would have had a different way of keeping time.. For example we used to have 13 months back when the romans were about.. We also didn't always have daylight savings... There is also a extra day every 4 years. Did they take all those factors into account?


All in All I can't see the world ending in 2012.. It just seems improbable to almost an impossible state.

but hey If we do die on that day I'll buy you all a pint ;)

How to get True Random...

Hey again everyone.. time for a complex post..
How can you get a random value?????

Well firstly what is random?

Random = Something that isn't stored then accessed but rather is just there and used for what ever reason it may be.

Problem:
Nothing is truly random not even the thoughts that run through your mind!
If for example I say think of a animal, you will think of a animal based on the things that lead up to that point in time.


For example.. Say you thought of a "Cat" at first because you like them or you can see one sitting not far from you now, or you saw one earlier that day.
However you then changed your mind about the "Cat" and changed your animal to a dog then thought of a lion then a tiger and then for some reason a donkey, and you decided to stick with a donkey.
You now feel that your chosen animal is completely random

Reason why you chose that final animal:
We know why you chose "Cat" to start off with because you like them or you can see one sitting not far from you now, or you saw one earlier that day, but you changed your thought to dog because its different from a "Cat" but it also links in with you though of a "Cat".
They are both pets they are both common, if anything its the exact same group of choices.. eg cat, dog, fish, bird but its the one that fits in best with your first thought of "Cat"

The perfect job.

Hey guys.

Again, I had another boring day at work... and all I could think about was this government idea and how amazing it would be to work for them...

As my mind does its usual and over thinks things I started to wonder what I would do, and then it came to me.

With the way I think and the way I can learn new things rapidly, surely the best place for me to be working would be in SIS or MI6. My brain was built to learn create solve problems and never stop thinking so working for the SIS would be a perfect job.
I would never have a bored moment and I could finally put my brains talent to good use.

Problem is there is no way in hell I would ever be able to get into the SIS =[

Thought about it lots and seeing as I don't have the quals the only other way in would be to stand out from everyone else.. now how the hell could you do that and grab their attention at the same time ;) hmmm I wonder lol.



So many people will be wondering why the hell I would want to do this, but I am seriously thinking of joining the RAF.

Not to run about with gus and what not, but my mind seriously is going to waste stacking shelves when it could be problem solving and working in IT while getting a great life learning experience.

IF I do go for it I'll start off as an Intelligence Operative where I'll get...

Level 2 NVQ Administration
Degree in Security Management
Degree in Intelligence

You should be interested or have experience in:
Combat - (Not so much but learning to protect yourself is always handy)
Computing / IT - (That's a bit of a obvious thing I'm interested in and have loads of exp in.)
Clerical Administration - (Comes in handy in nearly everything you do.)
Investigation & Research - (Perfect thing to get my mind thinking and actually working for a change)
Security - (Making things secure and trying to break security has been a hobby of mine for a while now :P)



Then I'll move on to being a Counter Intelligence Operative.

You should be interested or have experience in:
Computing / IT - (Again something I'm always interested in)
Forensics - (Not so much interested in unless it involves forensics of computers.. recovering data etc)
Telecommunication - (Handy to know how to broadcast information and understand how it all works.)
Communication Engineering - (Again quite handy to know in the computer side of things (Sending and receiving data))
Clerical Administration - (Useful in many jobs)
Investigation & Research - (Again its a perfect thing to get my mind thinking and actually working for a change)
Security - (Again making things secure and trying to break security has been a hobby of mine for a while now :P)



No idea how long it would take but reading through it has given me the chance to find that job where I can actually put my brain to use.

Not only this but as far fetched as it sounds.. it may just work in my favor of being spotted for something in SIS or MI6.
Right?

Time And How It Exists. (Updated)

My mind likes to think about all sorts of things. It mainly likes to think of things that aren't facts so that my mind can wander town pathways of the unknown.


Lately I have been trying to work on a few theories that pop into my head quite a lot. One of these theories is the theory of time and how does such a thing exist.

Here is what confuses me...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TIME EXPLAINED:

Wiki describes time as this: Time is a dimension in which events can be ordered from the past through the present into the future,and also the measure of durations of events and the intervals between them.

So in short.
Time = A measurement of change/events.

EXAMPLE:

X changes to Y over time.
This is an event that took place and Time is merely how we recorded it.

Because X changed to Y, it must have some form of movement.

If there was no movement at all it would not be able to change from X to Y.
(Movement is a form of energy)

So based on this, Time exists because of movement...
Without movement, nothing would change...
Therefor we would not need to record it/measure it.

Seduction...

Was doing some reading of my old notes and thought this was quite interesting...

• Overt Seduction: Pouting lips and puppy dog eyes, soft kisses and touches around the neck, chest and groin area, whispering sweetly in his ear how much she wants him and how she knows he wants her too.

• Power Seduction: The partner simply pulls her man away from whatever he is doing and starts to undress him, while pushing him towards the nearest comfortable area for lovemaking. This would be followed by her climbing on top and telling him what she is going to do to him. She would, of course, tolerate no arguments!

• Covert Seduction: Using false pretenses to lure her partner into a lovemaking situation. Ideas for this seduction include this one:

• "Go into your backyard on a chilly fall day and begin raking the leaves in a pile. Summon your mate to hold the bag open and then tell him to close his eyes. Then start putting articles of clothing in the bag and lay down in the leaves after you are naked. When you are in a seductive position, tell him to open his eyes for a big surprise."

• Damsel In Distress Seduction: Call your mate into the bedroom to help you with something urgent. Once he has "rescued" you, reward him handsomely for his brave gallantry.

• Classic Seduction: The Sensual Massage. The first step in giving a seductive massage is to identify the pleasure points on your partner's body. For example, the back of the neck, lower back and feet are the main pleasure points. The pleasure points are, however, different for everybody and the time spent researching what gives your partner maximum pleasure, is time that will be well rewarded later on.

A successful seduction entails one partner taking charge of the situation and using any means necessary to lure, not force, her man away from what he is doing, and into the bedroom.

Am I going crazy?!?

We all have those thoughts that make us wonder if people will ever understand us if we tried to explain it to them, or will they just think that we are crazy.

Well lately I'm starting to wonder how the hell I'm aloud out and about.

While being at work for the past 2 days, I have had to work 10 hour shifts from 9PM to 7AM on both occasions.
Now seeing as my job is really boring and rather repetitive I end up thinking about loads of things that seem either crazy, stupid, mad or just way too complex.

I'm starting to wonder if its going to send me crazy.

Most people could do my job and just get on with it without any problems. However because my brain works over time as it is, it decides that because it doesn't have to focus on anything but a simple task it will use the rest of its potential to think about something extreme. Its kinda worrying.

Here is an example...
Could I possibly come up and design a mega computer virus that could wipe out everything and anything but that can also restore everything with the antidote.. then after creating this could I bargain with the government over it so as to be able to work for them and then they can have it for a cost..

Now this sounds stupid but I found a perfect way of creating it doing it and making it all work.. Now I'm going to explain it on here for two reasons.. for one I'm curious to see what peoples responses are and for two, well lets just say I'm curious ;P

Firstly I need a virus that is unstoppable.
To do this it would have to firstly be created in basic computer language. Not in C++ or C# or anything that needs a compiler as it won't run on its own.
It would need to be built so basically that no matter what OS you are running even if you had built your own, the virus would have to be built to still run.
(Thus the fact that you would have to set it to be built in the very basic of computer code.)
Something that all computers components could read and execute some how. (maybe even create 1 virus that has a few different types of the code that are all stored on one bit of hardware and run depending on what OS?

Secondly what should it do and how?
Now we can create something that runs on all computer based things (Cars, phones, laptops, TV's), we need it to now save itself to the system so that it is to not require it to still have a pen drive plugged in etc.
So rather than copy to a HDD that only runs when used.
It should copy to anything that holds data.. ANYTHING!
This means:
CPU cache, Memory sticks, HDD's, Graphics card Memory... anything that stores info

It is now on everything, but saved differently depending on what its saved on.
So for example, if it's saved to the CPU cache its saved in a way that is read/processed by something that reads CPU code.
This means that if you want to save the data on the HDD you would have to plug the HDD into another computer and that too becomes infected.. even if you use the CPU or anything..
Basically the whole PC becomes useless...
(Sorry if I now seem off track.. had a rather large post on a topic about my last post to reply to lol)

Right.. erm...
Okay.. so the virus is now everywhere and can't be deleted unless your format all the info too all 0's or all 1's.
However to do this you need it plugged into a computer that works.. so this isn't possible.. it will just keep spreading..

Thing is, it doesn't do anything at the moment. It sits there and copies its self everywhere.
So the next thing you want to do is make sure it's at the start up of everything.. if you can set it to memory address 00,00,00,00 so when the memory gets read, the first thing it reads is your code.

The first part of the data/code should run the rest of it thus starting up your virus.
You now make the virus encode all of the data on the chip it's saved to.
You make the code impossible to crack by using the data stored on the actual chip to encode it.. basically say you have a chip called "x11c3 express" you use that string value to create an encryption code value thing lol..
This is used to encode the data.. you will however need to save the "x11c3 express" string as part of the virus, but again encoded with this time a default code. So now it reads "1ddjh bubbles" or something..

The data is now completely unreadable and unrecoverable unless you can decrypt.. problem is if you try to decrypt then whatever you're using will have to access the computer and will then become infected.

So this computer/mobile/car is useless.. and won't do anything.


How do you fix it?

Well what you do is in the actual virus you code it to read from a memory location first.. for example. read location 00,00,00,89 first then read from 00,00,00,00 onwards.

what this will do is allow you to have something in that memory address that gets read first.

So say you have the anti dote on a pendrive and at location 00,00,00,89 you have a string that ses KillerBeeAntidote, the virus will read this and know not to infect the pendrive.

Now that the pendrive doesn't get infected the computer will still read the code on the pendrive... think of the pendrive as a portable OS, on this OS is the program needed to fix it.

The virus sees that its not to be encoded and so doesnt tamper with it. the pendrive should run on its own without help. what it will do is read the memory on the chips. if it finds the virus on 00,00,00,00 then it will read the encoded "1ddjh bubbles" string and will then know how to decode the data.

So you decode the data and then save it from getting the virus from the other hardware by adding a small file on the chip at location 00,00,00,89.

This means that the HDD can be decoded by the pen drive that runs on its own and then gets given a antibody in effect that keeps it from getting infected.

What you do is allow the pendrive to scan ALL of the hardware on the computer/phone and allow it to remove the virus completely and decode. Once thats done the antibody files are removed..


Your computer is now back to normal and 100% like it was before the virus showed up.


How its useful:
Now you see this idea could easily be used by the government as a weapon that doesn't cause deaths.. forget wars with missiles.. they kill people.
Instead you could code this baby so that it only infects things that are located within an area of the globe, thus causing it to spread throughout only that area and shutting down their entire computer network.. no banks, no info, no lights on roads.. nothing.. they can't even use weapons to fire at you.

You tell them that they should mend their ways and then you can give them the antidote..

This could be used on terrorists too.. you use it on them.. they are helpless.. no cameras nothing.
You storm in take their stuff decode it with the antidote and you have all their info on everything.. eg where bad people are hiding etc.


Conclusion...
Its something I don't think I should of posted but this is what goes through my head everyday... surely there is a way to make use of my mind.. working in a store isn't putting me to my full limit.
Or maybe I'm just going mad and thinking about silly things that will never happen. O_O
who knows..


UPDATE: I realize that this wont work.. due to the way computers work reading code on chips and shit, however like my warning states.. this was just a cool thought that I had.
If there was some way of doing something "Like" this though, then it would be a serious virus!
May think on this a bit more at a later date.

God.... How it's all wrong.

I KNOW ITS A LOT TO READ BUT IT IS WORTH IT

Feel free to have your say on this after reading it.. I would love to get loads of input on this

I was reading a few posts from people who seriously believe in God, and suddenly the thought actually dawned on me that they are serious, and honestly believe this stuff so much that they would do anything they were told as long as it came from the word (Mouth) of God.

Now I don't hate people that believe in god.
I honestly believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion; however I seriously can't see how people can believe that strongly about a being that’s so flawed.



I guess, if you had to, you could call me a skeptic-agnostic.
I do not follow or hate God, but I'm not an atheist either, they believe God does not exist.
There is no doubt in their mind.
If there is, they are unknowingly agnostic.

I especially don't believe that we (human-beings) are Gods nor perfect.
Far from it.
I believe we are desperately scared, thus delusional, selfish, pervert little creatures, but that we can change! We can evolve.

Now I’m not here to tell you that all people who believe in god are wrong but I have some interesting facts that if at all possible I would like a believer to argue about and honestly try to prove me wrong.
(Keep in mind that this is not a post created to spite others or cause arguments, but rather a "healthy" debate)

The first major point that I will agree on is the fact that “IF” God does exist then you have to agree that he is All-Loving, All-Knowing and All-Powerful (ALAKAP).

The reason I say this is because every religion gives their god these attributes.
If you don't believe me then look it up, and to be fair it does seem a logical thing for a god to be.
If he didn't have all these attributes then I personally wouldn't call him a god.

Anyway I'm sure that as we ALL agree with the above statement we can continue with the facts.

• QUESTION: Is God omniscient (All-knowing)?

Well as you know we have already agreed that god is all knowing. If he wasn't then he wouldn’t be the god that everyone describes him to be.
Many people argue that he is, so for arguments sake I will agree and say God "should be" all knowing.

• PROBLEM: If God is all knowing then why does it seem like he isn’t?

Now what I mean by this is simple. (stay with me here)

God apparently knows “EVERYTHING”.
Yet he still gives us humans tests.

Let me explain:
He created Adam and Eve placed them in the Garden of Eden which had a fruit that they shouldn't eat.

Now why put that fruit there if he wasn't testing them?

He’s god, so he didn't say “Oh it seems I'm running out of room so I suppose I better plant this tree in the garden”
He placed it there for some other reason.
The reason has to be to test his creations. (What other reason could there be?) <- [Feel free to discuss this]

Now the reason any test is done is to find out the result.
We will say "If I do this, then that will happen", but we test it just to make sure.
(This is because we doubt it slightly)
If we didn't doubt it then we wouldn't test it in the first place because we would just know it to be true.

Example: I buy a new battery from a shop.
I take it out of its new box and use it. I didn't test it because I knew it would work.
(On the other hand)
I find a box of batteries in my house, I test them all because I “Don’t know” if any of them work.

So why would an all knowing God have to test Adam and Eve with the fruit?
We know that “IF” they didn't eat the fruit they would have stayed in the garden but “IF” they did eat it they would be kicked out of it.

So why would God have a scenario with two different outcomes?
If he knew what was going to happen why say this could happen OR that and then test them to see what actually will happen?

He must have doubted them slightly on what they would do with it, and to doubt something is to not know.

Hmmmm.. okay you might have a argument to that and Id like to hear it but first please read on.


Now we say he’s all knowing.
This means he knows EVERYTHING that’s happened, happening and will ever happen.

So he knows that if he places that tree with the fruit in that garden, then he knows that Eve “Will” eat it.

He's supposed to know anything anyone will do before they're even born/created.
He knows the past, present, future (because time is meaningless for him and because he is the one deciding of the course of the future) he also knows all your actions and thoughts…
HE KNOWS it ALL, right?

This means he knew Eve would eat the fruit.

Now many of you would say that we were given free will.

Okay, I like the sounds of that, sounds nice doesn't it, and to be honest even if we had free will God should still know every possible outcome right? I mean he is god.

So we have free will to do anything we please but God knows what we will do when faced with a situation.

For example:
He knows that a true believer will follow his word.
So If he said to the pope, “The planet is becoming over populated and I will have to remove half of you in order for you believers to live, but don’t worry I will only remove sinners”, he knows that the pope would be fine with that, he also knows what exact words he would have to use to get the outcome he wanted.

Perfect example is this:

• I flip a coin and "I know its going to be heads", so I shout “heads”.
• I also know that in 3 more flips of that coin it will be tails.

I say to you that I will have the last cookie if the 3rd flip from now is tails.
The coin gets flipped 3 times and its tails.
So now I have the cookie.

Now anyone that fully understands what I have just said will realize that with the ability of being all knowing you can do one thing that will assure the outcome you want.

So when god created the world and birds and light and sea, he would have created it how he wanted it to be.
Now he knew that if he made things in such a way he would then reach a stage where the future would play out how he wanted it to.

Every “free will” action you make only happens because you made that choice.
BUT you made that choice based on your previous experiences, and they happened because of things before them.
Ultimately ending up with your choice being a result of something that happened when god first created it.

So really it wasn't your choice.
You were forced to do that because what god did all those years ago made you do what you did.

If you don't understand that then try and picture this.
I child is born and will learn to talk.
The language he/she will speak is already chosen for them based on where they were born or the language of the family.
It personally doesn't have a choice.
This will then effect EVERYTHING it does in its future.



Now by this stage I have pointed out a few basic things.

God knew that if we had free will and placed that tree there we would eat the fruit, or not(They were our choices).
If the test was a test, then he isn't all knowing as he doubted the outcome (Thus he’s not actually a god).
If the test wasn't a test then he placed that tree there for a reason knowing we would eat it (Thus we have no free choice).

So.. so far we have a choice.
You can have a god that’s all knowing but we have no free will
OR
You can have free will but god doesn't know everything.
Hmmmm…


Okay.
So…

• QUESTION: Is god all loving?

Now from following the first problem we now have a few out comes and I'll talk about that in a second.

Firstly Evil…
We all know that evil exists.
Now my first question is why does it exist.

Surely “IF” god is all loving he wouldn't allow it to exist in the first place.
“IF” the reason we have evil is because we have free will and we chose to be evil then why create us with the ability to make evil choices in the first place.

God is the creator.
Not evil.
So he created us with evil inside us?
Why?

Why create something with evil if you’re not evil yourself?
Unless it was a mistake, but shouldn't he of known about the mistake and how evil will become so bad.
Remember he’s all knowing right…

So he knew that creating us with an option to be evil will eventually cause evil to grow.
But he’s all loving so why allow it to grow.


Surely “IF” he is really all loving he wouldn't have thrown us out of the garden and should have forgiven us because he knew that by placing that tree there we would eat the fruit.
Better yet, all you people that believe and worship him.. even the pope, why are you not thanked, why are you still surrounded by evil, shouldn't he remove you from this place and be loving and caring, why allow you to suffer. (Jesus suffered for your sins… so why do you still suffer?)

“IF” we have free will, and God tested and knew our outcome then he is evil by putting that fruit there and allowing us to eat it when he clearly didn't want us to.
He is then also evil for sending us to such a horrible place for doing something he know we would do anyway.

He even sent the evil snake into the garden to tempt them to eat the fruit.
(The evil that he must have created).
So knowing all of this and creating this evil, did he want Adam and Eve out of the garden?
He knew the snake would tempt them and he knew that with the fruit and snake they would end up kicked out.
He must have wanted to banish them, so much for all loving.




More?


Some Christians say:
“God knows the laws of nature perfectly so he created us in a way that suits us perfectly.” Thus the reason we have flaws and evil and “aren't perfect”. We are like we are because he made us to fit in with the laws of nature…

Well that’s a fail.
I’m sorry but why give us these evil thoughts and imperfections to fit the laws of nature when he created nature in the first place.
Why not change nature so we didn't need these thoughts etc.

Even if god had created us to fit into this world with the laws of nature why did he then create us knowing that we couldn't (or even WOULDN'T) abide by all of his rules?
It’s simply IMPOSSIBLE to any human-being to be righteous, to follow ALL the rules and NEVER SIN, to be PERFECT.
Does that seem All-loving to you?

I could ramble on for more about how he isn't all powerful otherwise he would remove all evil from the world seeing as he’s all loving and because he hasn't removed all evil he is ether not all powerful, or he is not all loving.

Seriously the list goes on for ages and I can’t see how people can believe in this other than the fact that they don’t want to feel alone.

Then again you have friends and family, how can you feel alone. If you need there to be something else then why???

I know I might of upset some people but I really don’t understand why things are looked at in such a narrow minded vision.
Again I am not having ago at the believers and If anything I would like them to even post their views and discuss this.
Because in all honestly to me god just seems to unbelievable to be true based on the facts and notes that even the believers state to us all.






Now I posted the above on my facebook to see what the responses were and well these are some of them.

Jack:
Everything I've ever thought about this, ever, summed up in one long essay thing.
One thing I'd like to point out-
"So he knows that if he places that tree with the fruit in that garden, then he knows that Eve “Will” eat it."
He also knows that if he sends his most loyal servant to the top of a mountain to sacrifice his son, they will unquestioningly follow it through. But he still did that anyway.
The reason people believe in God are-
- They don't like to believe that when they die, thats it.
- They cannot accept their lives are insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
- They lack direction in life.

Me:
Here is another valid point.. We all live out life differently. I for one may commit sin every now and again, but then honestly can you name some one that doesn't?
Now ok I admit i commit a few sins here and there but I dont worry about it as they are only small things, some are greater than others but at the end of the day they are all sins. But I dont let fear of these sins rule my life.
It seems that rather than him being all loving, you actually end up fearing him, you dont want to upset him or sin and are living your whole life in constant fear.. (Argument might be, I am not afraid as I know god loves me and as I follow him he will protect me from sin) my reply would be.. sure ok... so why is it that the only reason you dont sin is so that you can get into heaven and not hell.. surely he should be all loving and allow you to just live your life.. why so many rules god? God would just be one of those mothers that doesn't allow the child to go to party's and make friends.. "Sorry I dont want you doing that and if you do ill punish you.." sorry but I would rather life my life rather than have to miss out on so many things just because someone tells me its bad.

Nathan:
Well in my opinion gods just like a Chinese whisper, I doubt he created us of even exist but we all know that everything we assume we know isn't all true.... to be honest I could just imagine someone dying and their being a big fat slob eating doughnuts and going " oh im god, now can you please get me some more doughnuts, one more thing welcome to my heaven"

Me:
I think what your saying.. correct me if I'm wrong.. is that over the thousands of years, this story of a god has been changed from what it once was to what we "believe" today.
So for all we know god could of been some powerful king who had this book wrote about him... Like you say Chinese whispers. the story could of been about a king but over the years the story has bee told in so many different ways that we now say god.
This would explain why there are many bibles and how come they are similar but different. Its like this.. I tell you a joke with a punch line.. you tell your friend the same joke but one word is different. the joke keeps getting told until eventually its completely different.

Jack:
It's a huge convoluted load of crap that over complicates things without any valid explanation or justification.
Stick to science, at least it can explain itself.

Nathan:
Alas stick to science but no Christmas presents of Easter eggs for you

Jack:
What? Christmas and Easter isn't restricted to Christianity, ya know

Nathan:
I know I was just being a prick xD, but its what it represents thats all xD

Jack:
I think the real question is "what tangible evidence is there that points towards an all- knowing, all loving, all-powerful god?"
Because, you see, there is a lot of evidence that points towards Big Bang, Abiogenesis, and the deterministic universe we live in.
Sadly, I have seen little to no strong and solid evidence to point towards the contrary (AKA Creationism), and therefore, logically, it is stupid to assume Creationism is the truth. Therefore, I MUST side with the other option.
It's that simple.

Jack:
Hey GG, does this ring a bell?
"Let's take two opposing view points.
Man on the street: 'The world is going to end in 2012 by meteor!'
Prof. on astronomy: 'There is no reason to assume the world will be destroyed by a meteor in 2012'
Instantly I stop and look at both sides.
I ask the first man for evidence, he says: 'because the mayan calendar ends in 2012'
I reply, 'yes, but that is their belief, or rather, conclusion. It does not support your statement at all. Where are your reasons.'
He gets mad and says, 'oh, you're one of those people who need reasons and hard-evidence. You're just putting the blinders on.'
I get slightly offended and go to see the professor.
He tells me, 'there has been no sighting of any object large enough to wipe out the planet instantly on that specific date. Looking at the mass and speed required and the angle necessary, we have done long and arduous experiments - and we have thus found nothing. Therefore there is no reason to believe that a meteor, asteroid or otherwise will strike on that date. The methods we have used are far more advanced than the mayans and we can be quite assured that whatever they theorized is much more of a hypothesis if not simply a blind guess. You can see the results of our experiment here, and see the following people for confirmation and corroboration. While it is possible that a meteor will strike, it is much more likely to happen in the time before and the time after the assumed date. In fact, guessing the time and method of the Earth's demise is like guessing the exact location and time of the first raindrop in the sahara desert. Such an assumption has no scientific or mathematical significance, it is simply the interpretation of texts written long before the advancement of human skepticism and scientific method. It is therefore safe to assume that the earth will not be destroyed in 2012.'
Well who would you trust?
While religious it is nigh impossible to see just how ridiculous a religion is, but while religious it is still possible to observe the outstanding success of science - except when the point of discussion is science's obvious bias towards atheism, a bias that only theists are capable of noticing."

Me:
IF god is so powerful.
Can god create a problem he cant solve?
Can he make a boulder he cant lift?
Can he win at the game?
Can he make something new that he didn't know about?
Can God stop being God or stop existing?
Can he make another God? Can He give Godhood to a man, or angel?
Can god be evil?

Jack:
There's just too many ambiguities and paradoxes where God is concerned.

Emma:
Adam and Eve has a belly button in art work. Which means....God has a uterus of some sort?

Me:
Have you ever noticed that they also look exactly like us humans of todays world.. im sure that we didnt look like this thousands of years ago... we allready have proof that we have changed over the years.. so does this mean god is a ape?? i mean we "were" made in his image.. and we WERE apes at some point... or maybe he is a single cell... so why say that adem and eve were made in gods image and that they aparently look like what we do today.. if they want to tell the story right it should be more along the lines of... Adem and eve were bothe monkeis in the garden of eden, god told them to eat the fruit. problem is although they looked like him their pre-human brain didnt fully understand and their ape instints kicked in and the eat it because they were hungry and knew no better..
I like the idea if picturing adem and eve as apes looks better :P

Emma:
And there is all sorts of art work of adam and eve....but they were apparently the first two humans so how did people ever paint them or even know they existed?!

Me:
Also.. we say they were called Adam and eve.. how do we know this.. im guessing that somehow they would of had to be able to speak in some way.. now are you seriously saying that two apes managed to come up with the first names Adan and eve, could say those names and passed their names on over the thousands of generations without it being said differently or forgotten V_V