Fucking Jay ¬_¬

You know that moment in life where you have so many problems that you have no idea what to do?

So what you try to do is make a list of all your problems and then solve as many of the small ones as you can and then put things in place to help solve the larger ones.

However when you can't seem to solve any of the problems your faced with and things keep getting worse, what else can you do?

Well I never really had much of an answer to what else you could do to try and solve the problem, however i also didn't wanna dwell on it either. So usually I try and get fucked out my face on drink and some forms of drugs so that I forget all about the problems and at least try to live a little in a fairly happy state until something magically goes well. 99% of the time it works out.

Currently I feel like everything that i have ever created for myself has been blown up in my face and then stomped on to make sure I cant ever have it fixed.. cheers Jay

You see for the past week or so now Jay has been overpowering me and I seem to have no way of stopping him, and if there is a way I have no idea what that is.

I have sat here for the past few days wondering what I could do to stop him from destroying everything and I honestly cant think of any other than get rid of him..problem there is its not that easy.. =/

Not many people understand that what I go through isn't something I can just switch off or ignore...
It actually is like your entire mind becomes a different person. So badly in fact that at the time your doing all of those things, it actually seems like the things you would normally do every day and that you can't argue with it.

Then when things change back you see all the stuff and think "Why the fuck!" and your left in a situation where you have no understanding as to why you did any of it.

I need some form of help with controlling this but currently everyone who could help me ether doesn't fully understand or isn't willing to help anymore.

No wonder my life seems to be in bits...