Dr, Dr, it seems I'm going crazy....

Well I spent all of last night trying to save what I have left of me and Chloe..

I'm hoping like mad that it works, but I guess only time will tell.

There has been a lot of stuff that has been getting to me and causing me to break down to the point of wishing I wasn't here anymore. (If you wish you can read them in some of my other posts). Today however is hopefully the first day of change.

I'm one of these people where I look at a problem and say "you caused it you can solve it." I don't like it when other people have to get involved as it makes me feel like I can't do the things I should be able to do. I also don't really like the idea of taking pills for something mentally related, such as depression. I feel like its just your mind making you be that way and that as long as you try hard enough you can change the way you think and get rid of the depression. I always thought that pills were the fake and placebo answer to problems. Well I guess I'll soon find out

I went to go see the Dr's today, I phoned up yesterday and booked in for a appointment with any Dr that would listen. I must have been in that room with them for a hour and a half talking about everything I could possibly think of.

There were two Dr's in the room. One was the main Dr that I was supposed to see and one was a very much older man who had a different air about him. We talked about things that have been getting me down, and all the things I feel. I told them everything from being depressed to the fact that I get paranoid at everything, like people whispering and laughing at me when I'm out of ear shot.

After the hour and a half they told me that it would be a wise idea to take a week off of work in order to get a few things settled and to let myself calm down. I was also to come back in a week to see them again where they would arrange for me to see a counselor, a psychiatrist and then they would also look at getting me medication but what medication I shall need they are not sure of just yet.

I'm hoping that things do get better. As much as I don't want to resort to medication, it might be my only shot at keeping me and Chloe going. So in that case I'm prepared to give anything a shot.

Things need to change.
Fingers crossed hey...