You see, for such a long time I have never really understood why people are religious. The hole belief in god and the bible to me is WAY to un-realistic and something I personally can't believe. I have no proof that it is possible and the thought of it is in my opinion absurd.
Today however I had a massive hit of realization and I now understand.
You see someone who is religious doesn't have proof that something is true, they just believe it to be true.
Now normally I would say "How can you believe it to be true if you have no proof?" but not any more..
Me and Chloe are still not together, and there is no proof that we will work again. If anything I am trying like mad to make things work and fix it all and yet it hasn't made the slightest bit of difference. The thing is though, my entire body believes that it will work and that its supposed to be and that I should never give up because eventually it will happen.
I tried to describe it like this.
I can feel somehow that Chloe has a small part of her that believes this can work. I don't know how I can feel it but something tells me that there is still a small part of her that knows we can work. It feels like a tiny match flame burning inside her heart.
This tiny flame is what makes her believe that we can work.
Currently there is not enough believe there for her to give it a shot.
My flame however is not a small match sized flame inside my heart but rather it grew from a match flame and took over my heart, then it filled my whole insides, to then finally take over my entire body mind and even flow out of my body and shine out on to everything as if I was a guy completely on fire, engulfed in nothing but this belief that things will eventually work out and we can make it through this and we will work.
This feeling that I have is so strong that I cant control it. It takes over every thought I have and every action I do. Everything keeps screaming at me that "She is the one".
Now again I have no proof, I have no evidence to back up my thoughts, all I have is this feeling.. this "belief".
What I see is that Chloe has this small match sized flame burning away inside her heart and that although its small it still can grow. I have no proof, but I believe that if I can prove to her that I believe in this so much that slowly her belief will also start to grow and the flame will burn brighter and stronger.
If it takes me years to grow this flame large enough for her to feel it too then I shall spend years trying, I will never give up. Even if that flame goes out, I will try every day to re light it and have it burn bright again.
One day we will be like this..
Burning in a sea of trust in the belief that this is whats right and that it will work...
I just know it!
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