Isn't it funny how someone has the power to make you feel over the moon and so good about yourself even when you're feeling at your lowest point, yet they also have the power to worry the crap out of you.
Lately things between me and my girl Chloe have been going great.
A few things suck, like the fact that I have to work night shifts and so I sleep during the day. It causes me to hardly see her and when I do see her I'm usually sleepy or rushing to get ready for work.
Then with my money issues being so bad lately I also haven't been able to treat her like I would like to, and yet she still puts up with me ^_^
Things between us mentally though are fantastic.
She really is one in "N".
Yeah that's right I said N... I was tempted to say 1 in a million, however just the thought of it being such a common phrase put me off saying (Typing) it.
My next thought was to say a much larger number to try and express how much she truly means to me.
Problem there is if I said "Shes 1 in a 10,000,000" I would be too tempted to add another 0 on the end to again try and show that she really means that much.
Eventually I would end up with a page covered in 0's.
So to simplify things I used the term N where you then insert the biggest number you can think of ^_^
Anyway... :P
Me and her have grown so close over the past few months that I couldn't ask for anything more.
Sure work gets to me and I get stressed about silly things, however when ever she turns up to see me everything vanishes from my mind and the only thing that does seem to exist inside it is "OMG shes here!... YAY!"
I have never met someone that has had this much of a positive effect on me before and its amazing..
However as you may remember... "someone has the power to make you feel over the moon and so good about yourself even when you're feeling at your lowest point, yet they also have the power to worry the crap out of you"
As much as I know its far from likely to happen, I worry more than anything else that I'll lose her.
Its daft I know. V_V
Problem is, it's one of those things where it seems too good to be true, and with my mind working the way it does I wonder if its all just a huge joke, maybe I'm on the truman show but I'm the main character, maybe one day she will realise I'm a complete loon and won't be able to stand me.
Either way it worries the crap out of me to a stupid extent.
I don't think its possible to ever lose this feeling for as long as you love someone this much.
For the rest of my relationship with her I will be over the moon that I'm with someone so amazing, but I would also be distraught if I was to ever lose her and so the thought will never leave me..
Kind of ironic to be fair.
But its comments like this from her that make that feeling slowly sink back to the depths of my mind again allowing me to realise that, for now at least there is no way I will lose her.
"I don't care how much you 'ramble', I don't care how much things are getting you down or how much you ever feel like just giving up, I won't let you & I'll always believe in you.
Know that, even if I can't stay the night or even see you in the day, you're always on my mind & always in my prayers.
I love you.
♥"
^_^ well I'll end this ramble for now.
Thanks again for reading.
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