Me in a HUGE nut shell

I WILL KEEP UPDATING THIS
I'M TRYING TO ADD AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE SORRY IT'S TAKING SO LONG.
Last update: 19/12/12 @ 14:43
(added to music +List, games and TV shows +List and added things that i fear +List of films)

Lets sleep better tonight...

Sleeping last night was impossible.

I believe in some huge way it was my own fault, but it still bugged the crap out of me.

You know when you have things playing on your mind and you cant shift it, you usually end up thinking about it for ages and even before you go to sleep. Well even though I have loads of things that are getting to me at the moment, I had the worst thing possible sitting in my head while I tried to sleep..

If any of you have watched my iPlay's you may know that I have played a game called SCP-087-b. In this game you walk down a hallway for ages.. and creepy stuff happens.
If you have or even haven't watched them, check out this video.

In the above video there is a part at 3:40-3:50 that was playing over and over in my mind.

Last night I went to bed.
I lay there in the dark comfortable and thinking "aahhh its so nice to lay down". Then however I realized that it was dark and quiet. Now normally this wouldn't bother me, last night however all I could think of was the black guy with the mask.


I lay there with my eyes closed, and all I could think of was "Jay if you open your eyes he will be there at the end of your bed in the door way looking at you"... "Honestly Jay he's there"..
This was followed by "Don't be stupid he's not real.. its just not possible.. If I open my eyes I guarantee he won't be there.. its just not possible"
So in order to try and stop these stupid thoughts and prove myself right I opened my eyes and looked all around my room only to see that he wasn't there, just as I knew it would be.
So I closed my eyes again and tried to go back to sleep.
However then it happened again.. "Jay if you open your eyes he will be there at the end of your bed in the door way looking at you"... "Honestly Jay he's there".. followed by "Don't be stupid he's not real.. its just not possible.. If I open my eyes I guarantee he won't be there.. its just not possible"

So yet again I open my eyes to prove yet again that he isn't there..
This happened for about a hour..

Even though I knew full well that it isn't possible and that I was just being stupid I couldn't help but have this feeling that he was there and then that I had o prove that he wasn't.

I finally fell asleep after a long ass time of trying to prove he wasn't there only to fall asleep thinking of SCP's..

I can't remember all of my dream, but I remember that he was in it at some point, I also had a dream part where all photos would have red eyes that glowed, they would follow me around a room and get closer and closer.. and then I had a dream about the bed monster...http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-072



For some quick info here is a snippit of the SCP..

"Instances of SCP-072 have only been observed to manifest when a human (hereafter referred to as “the subject”) enters REM sleep while located in a bed ‘infected’ by SCP-072 and leaves a foot or feet exposed to open air. If these conditions are satisfied, SCP-072 will emerge from the foot of the bed and appear to use its pointer finger to ‘tap’ on the subject’s foot until they awaken. Subjects have reported that, at this point, they were unable to move, showing symptoms similar to sleep paralysis. This continues as long as SCP-072 is visible.
SCP-072 will then use its pointed fingers to cut portions of flesh from the exposed parts of the subject's foot or feet. It will return to within the bed in between each removal, emerging without the collected material. This will continue until SCP-072 has taken all of the exposed foot or feet, stopping at the ankle. Though subjects exposed to SCP-072 report this process to be immensely painful, its paralytic effects render them unable to scream or call for help. It is unknown if manifestations of SCP-072 feed on the collected material or use them for some other purpose. As long as the wounds are properly treated, SCP-072’s effects are not fatal, but have been observed to cause psychological damage relating to sleep in the future."

So I was having this dream where I was in my own bed and couldn't move with this "thing" at the bottom of my bed. I however knew I was dreaming and was trying to wake up just incase.. (don't ask why, I have no idea)
I thrashed about in my dream but wasn't moving... I could feel the thrashing about to try and run, or wake up.. but in my dream I was laying still.. It was such a strange feeling.. to be moving every part of your body and feel it but also to still be laying perfectly still.
Then without warning I woke up and realized I was in actual fact thrashing about in my actual bed.

I was covered in sweat, heart racing and I couldn't.. no I didn't want to sleep..

Who is Maddox....?

Today I was introduced to a amazing blog here...

Maddox

I can't believe how much I agree with what this guy says..
Everything he has managed to put on to his blog is almost as though he has dived into my mind at times when its busy and messy and picked out all the things that link and made proper sense of it all.

For example:

Its almost as though he takes my thoughts about life in general and sums it up..

Like:

Selfishness Anyone, Some People and Possessions

This guy truly is amazing in the way he can express the things he thinks, and so blunt and truthfully too.

Not much else to do while I'm ill tonight/this morning but read some more and blog a bit I guess..

13 Simple Steps To... What a pile of crap

Today I saw a post online that really made me laugh.
The post was this..

13 Simple Steps To Get You Through A Rough Day
If you are having a bad day then you should probably look at this post.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/13-simple-steps-to-get-you-through-a-rough-day


Its the biggest load of crap I have seen in a while..

Sure there could be 13 steps to getting you through a rough day but looking at pictures aren't them.
How is printing out a picture of Brittney Spears bald and putting it up on a wall supposed to help me get through a rough day?

Sure.. If you're a huge fan of her then it may be slightly inspirational to you, but for the average Joe or the not so keen Anti-Fan its going to do nothing to help at all..

Step 4: Imagine you are this penguin...

How is imagining that I am a penguin being petted by some famous guy going to get me through a rough day?      Its clearly not going to, is it...

If you really were having a rough day and you needed to follow some simple steps to get through it then it sure as hell wouldn't be those. It would be something more like a flow chart.

How about this?




10 Simple Steps To Get You Through A Rough Day
Step 1: Look at your day... Has it been a bad day? What has caused it to become a bad day? Loads of small things? A big thing? Try to make a list of all the things that have caused your day to become tough.

Step 2: Now that you have a list of all the things that have caused your day to become rough how about you now take that list and cross off all of the things that are very minor and are most likely not ever going to happen again. Things like I lost £50 somewhere while going shopping. For you see these things happen from time to time and cant be helped, you shouldn't worry about them or let it get to you. (Maybe try to solve them at a later date if it does seem that important)

Step 3: With your list now only holding the things that are a actual problem and that need to be sorted out try and put them in 2 new lists. List 1 will have the biggest problems at the top (Such as ones that have been going on for days) while list 2 will have the ones that really get to you at the top first (Stuff that you really need to solve soon.)

Step 4: Count how many things there are in the list (lets say 15) and on each list give them a number value that represents its position in the list. Add the value assigned to a problem, from both the list 1 and 2 to get a final value for each problem.. You should now list them in order of value. This will now make the most important stuff at the top of the new list so that you know what to work on first.

Congratulations you have gotten your problems organised.

Step 5: Take the problem from the top of the list. Do you think you can solve this easily? If so then go to Step 7. If not then find someone you can talk to about the problem and explain the situation to them to try and get a better view on how others might solve the problem. If other people are the issue then maybe try and stay away from that person so that you can take some time to get your though together and then talk things through.

Step 6: Now you have a better idea on how to deal with the situation, come up with a few solutions, maybe your own, maybe from others advice. Try to look at your solutions and then think about how doing the opposite would effect the situation to make sure that you might not be making a mistake. Try to think about how it effects you and then how it will effect others.

Step 7: With your final solution in mind, set up a way or putting it into action. Be it a plan-o-gram, a timetable, a notepad reminder. Maybe its even going out and buying the things you need to get started on sorting it.

Step 8: Put your idea on how to solve the problem into action in small steps. Don't try to solve it all at once as that will just cause you to get worked up and possibly even cause more problems. ?Take it easy and if need be ask for support.

Step 9: When all things are starting to look up and the problem slowly vanish take some time to look at your achievement at actually solving the problem , if the problem hasn't been solved or isn't getting any better then talk to someone and try and get a understanding as to why this may be.. then jump back to Step 6.
If the problem has been solved then jump to Step 5.

Step 10: When all problems are solved or partly solved make sure to look at things in a positive way.. Even if only a few things have been solved, at least its getting better.

Congratulations your day should no longer feel so rough and things should start to look up..


It's something like that or "Fuck it, who actually gives a crap about what happens.. no matter what happens as long as I do what makes me happy then I can at least look back and so I enjoyed myself and everyone else should have just done the same"
Not saying that's the best option but sometimes its needed, all depends on who your dealing with at the time. Obviously don't do that to your boss...

So much has happened over time...

I think its about time I made a update for my blog..

By looking back on my facebook, I can see that on the 8th of June I was in the "Best Mood Ever!" and all though out that day I spammed my wall with images of things that I liked and a lot of things that made me think of my awesome future..
Things from the Mario Themed fish tank that I would love to have in my front room of my house.

Jokes that me and chloe would always link to one another..

And things that our babies would weir..

What can I say.. I was in a very good mood..
The 9th of June hit and E3! was about in my mind.. With a posting of a status reading...
OMFG! Just drempt that a Nintendo E3! Rep came to my flat and I explained my new game idea to him and he brought it off me for a few millio and gave me a copy of the new brawl that they are keepin hidden atm :O OMGF!!¬! :3
And some references to Link and Nintendo 64 stuff thrown in for some added fun such as this image..


Still in an amazing mood.

On the 10th my mind is still being game addicted and I start up my PS3 for the first tie properly in AGES to install a few new games and update some old ones.. I end up counting about 120 games in total..

I'm still in a good gaming mood at this point.

On the 11th I find out about this..

And am truly amazed by it, making me want a 3DS, and I laughed a lot at the 7th "top 50 women on the internet"

On the 12th things are still going good and I decide to create a facebook page for images that I like and feel are worth posting..
ICanRelateToThisPage
Many of the posts are soppy things about love and relationships and things that i do and think are silly..

On the 13th I am in stitches with the Miami Zombie prank and end up showing it to everyone as I cant stop but laughing at everything that I hear and see in it.

Im a tad quiet and busy with chloe on the 14th and so I don't update facebook much to have a log of what happened however i stumbled upon the fake Majoras Mask Remake


While Chloe had gone out for a bit I made a image for her and fraped her with this..
<--- This person has a fraping boyfriend.
However this Boyfriend would also like to let everyone know how much she means to him.
You see words can't really express how happy she makes me feel, and no matter how hard I tried to explain it you just wouldn't understand fully how important she is to me.

So I thought I would just make a image in photoshop with a few words to express how I felt..
:3
I Love you baba xxx
See you tomorrow/today... ^_^ Love your fraping biscuit Jay-Face


By this point I was obsessed with chloe... She had become my every thought.
I had ordered her a ring on the 5th and it had shown up and I had collected it and I ordered a red rose ring gift box to put it in on the 12th and that also turned up.

I saw chloe for all of the 16th through to 17th after work and it was bliss.. I hadn't felt this relaxed and happy in a long time.. Even though I had been in a very good mood for the past few days before...
I even made a funny saying of "I know I'm dyslexic but I love you for so many raisins..."

On the 17th me and chloe joke about a few things like how I was trying to fix my iTunes libary but there were some broken links..
in my mind I had laughed at how amusing it was that you could have a image of a broken Link form a zelda game.. and within seconds chloe had posted a broken link from zelda on my wall as if she was inside my head laughing at the same joke as me.

Im then put in a amazing mood for the rest of the day where i find simple things like this amusing..

i even get posted on my wall from her a soppy picture that i personally felt to be also true.. again.. asthough we were reading from the same sheet..


I even follow it up with this..


Everything seems so right and perfect..
I feel like she is now officially the best thing to ever exist in the world..
Not only are we thinking alike but we also see so much affection in each other and everything comes so naturally.

Its like they say "A match made in heaven"
Nothing could possibly beat this feeling i have for her.

I would do anything for her, I even removed some people from facebook and blocked them so that she would no longer have to worry about their intentions.
No matter how many times she feels down I will always try to pick her back up again and she would do the same for me..
Shes so understanding and actually listens to things rather than ignoring opinions and  being brash and ignorant.
She is so caring and supportive even when I have no right to have someone this amazing supporting me because I fuck up so much..
She makes me feel complete..
Alive..
happy...

I honestly couldn't live without her at this point.

Shes everything I ever wanted and more, without even having to ask for it and yet she still wants to be better for me.

19th now and I start making some iPlay videos..

 

Leading up to the 20th now.. and I have had a wave of nostalgia.. remembering things such at "5 children and IT" and "the blob" and "Bills new frock"

Things still feeling good...

21st hits..
Some one kill me..
You see on the 20th at night I had given chloe that said ring in said box.. and well...

Well after going out and buying a very expensive ring that I thought was perfect, and then getting a box for it that was in the shape of a rose with a stem and leaves (you open the flower head to see the ring) I had kept it hidden for chloe so that I could give it to her on her bday.I ended up giving it to her 2days ago and she was in bits with a huge smile on her face... she loved it.. everything was perfect.... so i thought...Turns out the next day (yesterday) she turns round and after i tell her that there is no doubt in my mind that she is the one I want to spend the resat of my life with, with our future to unfold out just like we planned and that I could undoubtedly say that I love her more than anything or one else in existence.. she then turns round to say... "I'm not 100% sure about us... I don't believe you actually love me for valid reasons but rather because i agree with the stuff you say.. and then said.. "james (not even baba like she usually calls me)... keep the ring, im sure you'll find some one to give it to, I don't desurve it.." then turned round and walked out.... talk about fucking devastated right now..I thought she was it.. I thought that there was no way it could be any better and that everything had finally come to the point where nothing but her mattered..i put my self out there to let her know how devoted i was to her and she accepted it all and made me so happy. only to stomp on my happiness and making me believe that this thing they call love is just a lie. ='[
I'm sure she has her reasons.. but to say yes then no.. V_V... Ouch... 

Currently feeling slightly numb..
I have had friends come over to see me tonight and I thank them for it was needed..
(I feel bad that chloe is most likely at home crying or feeling bad and that there is no one there helping her like I should be, but im just so hurt right now..)

I personally thought everything was fine..
I know its been only 2 years or so that we have been together and i know that I didn't exactly have to pop her the question ad it could have been in a better way than it was.. but in my eyes the only reason people would ever do something like that is because they want to spend the rest of their life with that person and they are 100% sure about that.

I have never been so sure about someone being the one in my life.. no.. better yet I have never been sure about ANYTHING in my life.. she is the one for me..

I know this and I was willing to shout it from the roof tops and ignore anyone that said otherwise..
She just is the one I'm ment to be with.. and I know she feels this too.. I just know it..

Problem is.. in my mind I wouldn't have even gona and brought the ring, let alone the fancy box, and given it to her, and been happy when she said yes.. none of that would have happened if I was not sure..

Even while I had friends over all I could think about was her and how i wish things were back to how they were just before I gave her that damn ring.

I miss her I truely do.. but I also feel so hurt that she isn't 100% sure about us..

Sure we "Clash" as she uts it.. be everyone does once and again.. even "my nan and grandad" do and "my mum and her BF" and "my dad and his wife".. its something thats never going to vanish.

And sure it sucks whe we chash and argue slighty.. but the thing is it is ever so slightly.. we dont scream and shout at each other we dont throw things... If anything we work it out as best as we can..
This is how I know it will work!

Even when I am angry at something I try not to let it out on her.. Sure I'll be pissed off and rant about the situation but I don't say "Its all your fault" because I know its not..

Like how the ring was half a size too small due to her finger size not being the same as it was last time she measured.. thats my fault.. the only problem was that there was nothing I could do about it and it made me angry..
I couldn't return it as the paperwork went through the wash because i was trying to hide it from her and forgot it was in the pocket.. and there was no way to resize it due to the stones in it..
I was so angry that the whole thing was a failure that to then hear the words from her that she thinks its too soon and that shes not 100% sure its right and then to walk out saying basicly that its over.. I mean WTH..

You can see why im hurt can you not....??

I have this amazing woman who i love more than words can describe, more than can be brought with money and more that can be created with drugs.. and I thought she felt the same for me..
I really thought love was real, but now it just seems like the cake..

A huge lie that people use for comfort..
You gt told about this sweet thing that you can have.. all you have to do is work hard to get to where it is and you can have it.. but the problem there is that even though you get told ohers have it and that its real, you cant actually see it for yourself and this getting your own Love/Cake is a impossible task because it just doesn't seem to exist anywhere...

I lost yet again...

What do i do?

Currently.. I'm stuck at home and cant sleep.. With a expensive ring and lovely box... Alone... Lost.. Confused.. and feeling like its never going to work out...

Someone who's not Chloe tell me its worth fighting for and i may just believe you.. but currently I don't know what to think ='[

Gotye Someone that I used to know

Hello everyone...

Lately I have heard this song by this guy called "Gotye" and its called "Someone that I used to know"

Personally i find the song highly depressing to listen to and I prefer some of his other tracks. Although that being said I'm not a huge fan of his music..

Although his music video that goes with "Someone that I used to know" made me lol quite a bit this morning when I realized that you could change a few of the lyrics and add in a layer over the top of the video to make it highly amusing..

If you have watched it you will have realized that he gets "Cut" up into sections and they are all different colours..

Well it reminded me of "Paint by numbers"
Like this one..

Im quite sure that if someone made a video of his music video but with numbers on each of the sections when they get coloured in and changed the lyrics to something like...

But you didn't have to cut me up
Make me black and white and and say I am something
That you have to colour in
But you colour in the picture until you say that's enough
Now it's your turn to have a go
Have to pick up a pen and change it colour according to its number
But because I am a video
This vid is a colour by number show.

It actually fits close enough

SOMEONE PLEASE DO THIS!!

Nintendo game idea dream.

OMFG!!!!

I just had the worlds most epic Nintendo nerd dream.
I woke up and was actually dissapointed that it doesnt exist =[

Here is what I drempt..
I'll try and throw in a few images if I can so that you can get a better idea of what it was I saw and was doing...

Selfishness anyone?

Well I finally have everything in my mind under control. No more doing stupid things just because it seems the right thing to do.



I do still have many things buzzing about my mind, a lot of which I could seriously use some help understanding. However I currently don't have anyone who I can talk to about them all, which is a bit of a pain to be fair.



You see the only people who I could talk to about all the problems are currently distanced from me due to my loss of control over the past few weeks, and the ones that are able to talk are all linked in with one or more of the things I can't seem to answer and thus their input would be biased.



The one thing I keep seeing everywhere is that although people have other peoples feelings at heart they still are quite selfish and think of their self more.



I know its kinda wrong of me to say this seeing as when Jay shows his ugly face he is the most selfish thing in existence.. however if you think about it, its so bloody true.



Here are a few examples..

Work people ask you to stay an extra 5-10 minutes to finish off what ever it is that you're doing. The reason for this is so that they don't have to do it. Sure 5-10 minutes aren't that bad.. but when its every day that you work and you get no thanks, it starts to take the mick... maybe if they would let you finish 5-10 minutes early one day it wouldn't be so bad. (I know this may sound like I'm being selfish, however I'm not asking for anything extra or something I'm not entitled to, just simply to be allowed to finish when I'm "Supposed to")



A relationship where the BF gets told off by his GF for a girl talking to him and liking the things he says or does, but when a guy sends the GF texts ending in kisses the BF can't feel the same way as the GF did. Hows that fair? Surely they should both be allowed to feel the same emotion about the situation. If anything the BF should be allowed to react worse due to the intent in the kiss's..



Wanting to do something when you have some time off, but when a friend has plans to do something else you take it out on them because you plan is now rewind. Its not their fault they have things they have to do.



Judging someone because they aren't exactly how you want them to be.



The list of things goes on... each situation is a selfish one, but people do it everyday.


I admit that I am selfish in some ways. I'm not perfect and never will be. I'm not even saying I' better than you. I'm simply saying that this world is so selfish that its unbelievable.

Relationship advice...?

I was looking through some random websites today and reading a few things that caught my eye.

Naturally I started reading some deep talks on 4Chan (Yes they exist)
Some were about how they feel lost and alone ever since they lost their family in a accident and others were about how they wanted to hit on this chick but were to scared to do so.
All of these were your everyday 4Chan deep talks (thats about as deep as /b/ goes..)

Then I started reading this on post that shortly 404'ed that was about this guy who felt trapped in his relationship and has been having thoughts of other people.. naturally I became interested as to what the troll advice /b/ would throw at this guy was and funny enough was shown a link to a website.

After reading through it I actually thought it was a amazing post and that I had to share it with you all..
This is the post...


###START###
It was my roommate’s 21st birthday a few Fridays ago, so my roommates and I decided to throw her a massive birthday party at our apartment. My boyfriend opted to chill in my bedroom for most of the night, while I mingled with the throng of intoxicated co-eds crowding our kitchen.  Several cocktails later, I found myself considering hooking up with four different guys and one girl. At least. And every time I had even the slightest urge to stick my tongue in someone else’s mouth, I would go into the bedroom and slur to my boyfriend something along the lines of, “There’s a cute boy/girl in the kitchen and I sooo want to sleep with him/her.” He would respond by smirking, patting me on the back and saying, “Go for it.”
But then, of course, we ended the night getting into each other’s pants.
This scenario happens a lot in our relationship, and not necessarily during drunken party scenes. Some days we just come home and talk about the attractive people in our classes or clubs who we’ve developed schoolgirl/schoolboy crushes on, and then end the conversation with sex. For example, one time I came home rambling on about this cute guy in my French class who was quite the charmer, and my boyfriend, determined to show him up, managed to charm me out of my clothing and onto his bed. Crafty, no? And while other couples work out or go wine tasting together, we Facebook stalk our crushes together, almost as a strange bonding ritual.

Another borderline creepy activity that we like to do together while hanging out on campus (or anywhere public, really) is to comment on attractive girls and guys that pass by and decide whether or not we would consider dating them if we were both single (and bi). Most of the time our tastes in attractive people differ, but every now and then someone will pass by and we can both agree, “Oh yeah. That person is definitely worth fucking.” Yeah, we’re that couple.
I just feel like after a certain period of time, it becomes perfectly natural for people in relationships to be attracted to other people. The philosophy that my boyfriend and I have adopted can be summed up as, “Why fight it?” We have an implicit understanding that neither of us actually will act on these verbalized urges — we are both monogamous and know that sexual relations with other people are a no-go. We simply don’t hide these desires from each other, so there’s never any suspicion or speculation that the other is being unfaithful. And it’s made our relationship stronger. I know that despite the fact that he finds other girls attractive, he still places me above them all — and vice versa.
So what happens when couples fight it? I have a guy friend who’s been with his girlfriend for several years and he still can’t look at another girl without pushing the “meltdown” button in her head. In the beginning he tried to tell her about girls he had crushes on, but since his honesty led to some really dramatic break-ups, he’s decided “Ahh, well, ignorance is bliss.” They’ve gone through several “breaks,” and during each he’s managed to hook up with at least one woman, and his girlfriend is none the wiser. I suspect that the more he’s not allowed to even think of another girl, the more he does so when his girlfriend is away.
The idea that you can’t be attracted to other people when you’re in a relationship is just unrealistic and sets couples up for future problems. Human attraction is a basic instinct, and it’s really just a matter of acting responsibly. Just because you find yourself turned on by a girl or guy in the grocery store doesn't mean your relationship with your significant other is flawed, and it doesn’t mean you’re an awful person prone to infidelity. I’m not saying everyone should adopt our brutal honesty policy, but I do think one day everyone needs to sit down with their significant other and just admit, “I’ve thought about screwing other people, but don’t worry, you’re still at the top of my list.”
###END###


Now I don't know about you but this for me seemed so true..
I read how the two are with each other and thought.. "That is actually amazing. Every couple should be like that.. so much trust and so much freedom given to one another and yet they both seem really happy in a relationship.".. then I read the "I have a guy friend who’s been with his girlfriend for several years and he still can’t look at another girl without pushing the “meltdown” button in her head. In the beginning he tried to tell her about ......." paragraph and thought, why is it that some people are like this?

I mean she sums it up in her post really well.. "I’m not saying everyone should adopt our brutal honesty policy, but I do think one day everyone needs to sit down with their significant other and just admit, “I've thought about screwing other people, but don’t worry, you’re still at the top of my list.”.."

I mean I can understand that some people have issues and worry that the other half may wander off with someone else, but in all honesty they are only going to do that if they are unhappy are they not?

So why not just both be happy allowing each other to do as they please knowing full well that because they are so happy and free to do as they please they wont go off with anyone else because they wont be able to get that kind of trust and love from anyone else.

Maybe I'm rambling too much but meh... my thoughts.. my post :3

Source: confession-my-boyfriend-and-i-have-crushes-on-other-people

Evolution Of Ideas

I was thinking today that its quite amusing that you can never have a idea that stays set.

You see an idea is one of those things that just like life it seems to evolve over time.
Sometimes it changes for the better other times for the worse, but its a always changing thing.

For example:
If you ever had a idea for a game or a book, it would have taken you minutes to have come up with the idea, however as you think about the game/book the story that you had for it will grow/change/evolve into something either better or worse.

Now this got me thinking..

Im all in support of Anonymous and their idea of "Freedom Of Speech" but seeing as this is an Idea we come to that fork in the road where it will want to evolve.
You see many people hear the idea and have their own ideas that they want to add to it. The popular one being listened to and many agreeing on and the not so popular ones being frowned upon.
Either way the starting point of the idea has changed some what.

So where does the change end?

When I have an idea I usually spend some time mastering it or letting it grow naturally. This happens for some time and then I ether finish doing most of what I had planned thus saying that I have completed my idea, OR I end up getting a little way through it and abandoning it all together.

But with a Idea wits as many people as there are behind Anonymous, where will it end and stop changing?

As it is we (sorry Anon) have loads of sub Operations, and these are just new ideas thrown into the original plan to apparently help with the main idea of freedom of speech. Now this is all well and good, but how long until a new idea gets thrown in that people agree with that's no longer following the same main idea of freedom of speech.. EG. Make drugs legal ¬_¬

So Ideas although a great thing, they would be better if you could actually put a boundary on them so they can not expand any more than needed. Thus allowing you to finish off an idea and complete it without it expanding into something completely different.

Online Buying

Yeah thats the thoughts that ran through my head when I realised what the hell I had done.

Decided it would be a cool idea to buy a few things online...
Awesome, thought, however the thing I was after you could only get from a few sites.
These sites are hidden and hard to find due to the nature of what they sell.. (nothing rude or illegal)

So there I was looking really bloody hard to find a site that sold a real copy of this product that I was after when I stumbled upon one that looked fine.
I had been checking it against fake sites and testing every page to see if it was ok or not and it seemed fine.

Decided to put in a order for this product with them so I should get it rather soon.
I was going through the order process and it all seemed to be going fine.

Got to the final page where you click Pay now, clicked it, payment went through.. I had used pay pal too so I thought I had nothing to worry about.

A day or so later and I hadn't received my tracking number like I was told I should of.
Seemed odd, so I emailed them.
Needless to say there was no reply...

2 days passed with no reply so at this point I began to worry.
I decided to google the company only to find words like SCAM and FAKE all over the main search pages.

Panic!

So what could I do.. It was my own fault, I shouldn't of rushed it and should of been more careful... but with this product being so rare it was looking so good.
I emailed them again, this time marking it as urgent and with the subject [Issue] with order.

Needless to say that after my polite email I wondered if I was just wasting my time.
Slightly worried by now that it was fake I decided to hunt again.

This time I took my time and found a site that was trusted and funny enough cheaper ¬_¬

I placed a order for the product as I was sure that I had been scammed on the other site.
I thought "Oh never mind its only £12 ish and I can contact PayPal and get it sorted if need be"

So everything seemed to be going fine other than my stupid move of buying the product on a dodgy site.

But then something amazing happened...
I got a email...
They had received my product..
I should receive a email with a tracking number shortly...

And before you knew it *BING* one tracking number email...

What a fucker..
Not only did I place another order on a trusted site but the dodgy site seems to be fine V_V
Typical..


So.
I now have two of the product on its way and yet I only need one..
Sods law I suppose.
I guess internet buying isn't always that easy.


P.S. (Still not 100% sure I will receive the product from the dodgy site though as they might of just sent a email to shut me up.... I'll just have to wait and see.)

UPDATE: I did in fact get the product and it was good.. but I now have 2 and I only needed 1 :')