Sunday, 29 April 2012

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Not another complex post

They say that time repeats itself and that if something has happened once its most likely going to happen again...

This post isn't a science or clever post, if anything its a "current feelings" post.

You see last night the person mentioned in this post HERE had decided that things just didn't seem right and went back home.

This leaves me on my own once again with a gut wrenching feeling that time is repeating its self...

I know full well over the next few days I shall seem fine and as though nothing is bothering me but for those of you who actually read this you shall have a better understanding of how I'm truly feeling...

Current feelings:
You know that feeling where you work really hard applying for a job, you get a interview and then they still don't employ you.. that feeling of working so damn hard for something and it all seems to be working out fine but then all that happy success feeling gets snatched from you and you feel worthless because you weren't wanted or just didn't fit the profile they wanted..
Well thats how I currently feel right now.

I'm unsure how things will turn out..
I mean, I have been told its still gonna be fine.. but that's not what I'm feeling right now..

I feel lost....

Is time really going round on its self and things will just repeat or will things be fine?
I feel that I have lost already before I have even had a chance to start fighting for it... So fighting for it would be pointless.. but I'll still try.

Things in my eyes were going well.. Work had been very rocky I admit but that got sorted and even worked out better for the both of us. We could finally see each other more often. Sure I earn less and now money is tight, but I can get through it I always do.. I wont ever just fall and never try to keep crawling.. I'll keep moving forward no matter what life throws in my way..

but where do I stand with all of this?

Should I just accept the fact this is how my life will repeat?
So much screaming is going on inside my mind today, the violent anger of confusion is clawing away my mind, distracting me from everything I should be thinking instead....

I suppose I will just have to accept that "Only Time Will Tell" but the problem there is we have a limited amount of time and I'd rather not waste it n confusion and depression any more.

Which is the reason I shall seem fine... why let it control you why let it over power you.. maybe just accept the fact that I cant do anything by being down and depressed and so continue being me while the thoughts that would normally destroy me stay in my mind and allow me to continue with life.

Anyway.. this was more of a mumbling ramble than an blog post.. but I told myself that when ever something is making my mind buzz with thoughts I would blog it.. so here it is..
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