For those of you who have no idea as to what I mean.. this could sound crazy or it could sound normal.. depends on how you see split personality's.
For too long Jay has been screaming at James asking to be set free and tonight he almost broke free..
With thoughts of smashing up my flat and breaking my fists upon a wall to such things of just jumping from a window to seek a perfect calm...
He needs to go..
...
Its got to that point where I'm now scared to be around people when I hear his voice. I'm never sure what words he will whisper into my thoughts making me contemplate drastic changes to make in my life. All I know is they are far from good.
I'm glad that Besty was here today to back up James.. I don't think I could have coped without him keeping my calm.
"Just take a breath... count to 5 if you have to and think of something calming.. maybe a waterfall of some sorts"
All the others just seemed to step back with no clue as to what to do. =[ not very useful.
I think I may have to let Besty take control for a while so that the others can lock up all the thoughts...
Not too sure how this will effect me as I haven't let Besty take control for 5-6 years or so.
Lets just hope he knows whats good for me :P
On the plus side seeing as work is fine now it should allow me to make a few minor needed changes with friendships ^_^
Again for those of you not quite up to speed with my mind here is a quick informative update..
- Musical Phoenix or Phe/Phe-o/Phoenix = Complete gamer, geek, nerd.. Loves playing games and doesn't really have much time for other stuff. Usually cant deal with problems unless its game based. Poor at social skills and doesn't respond much to peoples input. Tends to stay indoors and away from people where he can feel safe and calm playing games of all kinds nearly 24/7
- Covert Hoax or Covert = The hacker... when hes about you tend to know.. hes coding/hacking or talking about conspiracies and hoax's, tends to follow ideas of Anonymous with freedom of speech and data. Will usually solve problems about anything but not always in a good way.. tends to be sneaky and cunning with long term plans where he manipulates things into working when they shouldn't.
- Besty = The Friend.. Tends to put everything to one side for his friends.. supports anyone when needed without question. Usually there to support people and doesn't think about himself, can cause him to get in some sticky money issues due to helping others but he gets by some how..
- Jay = The Rebel... Known only too well for his disobedience, you say don't do it and he does it and some just to prove he can. Does stuff on impulse and doesn't think about the after effects, just wants to enjoy life as much as he can without thought of who it effects. Usually locked away in my mind so that not too much damage gets done as he tends to destroy everything I build for myself.
- James = The thinker.. Take jay and flip it on his head.. James tends to think things through and tries to understand as much as possible and then work with what hes given. All round his kind of balanced in most ways, but can be very life orientated, wanting the perfect job the perfect house and everything to be planned and working towards things.
Well thats me, me, me, me and me :P
Hopefully that helps you all understand how I work better and you should even see what I mean better when my personality changes randomly.
Well thought I'd give you all a heads up as to whos on their way... enjoy ;)
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