Wednesday, 30 May 2012

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Blogging about yesterday

While at work yesterday not only did I see the person from part one but I also saw two other people.

One of these people I would never of thought I would ever see again.
You see, we all have our Ex's. (well most of us do) and the person who I saw was one of my Ex's.Strange thing is that she doesn't even life close to where I work. So for her to even have been there was really odd.

Its quite funny though because it was one of those situations where I had no idea what to do.
You see we didn't exactly end on bad terms. Funny enough we actually loved each other even when we split. It got so bad how we felt for each other that every time we saw each other she would melt and I would feel alive again.
The only reason it didn't work between us is because at the current point in time I wasn't everything that her mum and dad wanted me to be and she couldn't take how they were with her, and in all honesty I understand.

You see, when we were together I lacked the following:
I lived in a hostel
Couldn't drive
Was 2 years younger (18 at the time)
No job
Dressed like a punk rocker
Wasn't "Mature" enough

So you see there were reasons why we didnt work, but we did love each other. So much so that when I was on a break with Lucy I even ended up getting with my Ex for one night and she was still hoping we would work even though she knew we can't.

In the end we ended up blocking each other out of our life.
We couldn't have a friendship at the time because no matter how much we tried to stay "just friends" the fact that we had such strong feelings for each other caused us to just end up hating ourselves for torchering our self.

So yeah anyway.. we split up and decided that even seeing each other was too much.

I finally moved on and was "happy" (well for some time) and i contacted her.. but she wasn't ready to try being friends just then. She still loved me and although she wanted to be friends she just couldn't move on and stay just friends (thus the fling when I broke up with Lucy)
So I left her alone.

Its been about 4 years since I have seen her, and I know she has finally moved on (although she still worries that she might end up loving me again).

Then yesterday after 4 years she shows up in my work..

What the fuck should I have done?

I wanted to say "Hi.. you ok?" or something.. but I didn't dare.
You see, she really is a lovely person and although I would love to have her back in my life as a good friend, I also don't want to pop back in her life and then end up causing it to become destroyed when Jay pops he head out to say hi.

So although I sit here wondering "what if", and wishing I had of said hi, I also know that it was probably for the best that I said nothing and just let her live her life without me in it.

Maybe one day she might even read this post (very unlikely) but if she does... well.. at least she knows that I still care about her being happy just like I told her I would, and that if not being with me in her life is what she needs then so be it ^_^

Thankyou Emma


The second person to show up at my work was a good old friend who I also haven't seen in some time (about a year). It was strange seeing her. I have told Chloe about her.. Shes that one I never had.. =/

Not that I'm going to or will even try (although I'm sure people think differently), but shes such a lovely person and we got on well.. I helped her through some confusing times and even remember lending her my Trivium hoody when it was raining so she didn't get cold and could head home (needless to say I still don't have the hoody back).

Its nice to see her moving on so progressively. I mean shes bee through really rough times and still comes out with a smile on her face no matter what.

I know that's a brief post about this other person but I just felt like blogging about the two people I saw while at work when I actually would have never thought i would have seen them.. Kinda made my day.
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